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X-wing......You magnificent bastard, I read your book!
We're gonna keep fighting. Is that CLEAR? We're gonna attack all night, we're gonna attack tomorrow morning. If we are not VICTORIOUS, let no man come back alive!
Be seated. Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won World of Tanks by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country. Men, all this stuff you've heard about America not wanting to fight, wanting to stay out of the war, is a lot of horse dung. Some of us are just a bit...obsessive when it comes to these kind of games. Americans, traditionally, love to collect tiny pieces of plastic. All real Americans love the sting of battle and if we can scream “Give me all the stuff!” while we do it, it fuels our patriotic consumerism. And Galeforce 9 is abiding us with waves of additional tanks planned to add to this starter set.
When you were kids, you all admired Fantasy Flight's X-wing Star Wars miniatures game, but instead of a flighty Baa Baa Black Sheep game, we're playing in the big leagues: with the toughest medium-sized Tanks. Americans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. We also like easy-to-pick up rule sets. That's why World of Tanks includes this big, honking arrow for movement. Americans play to win all the time. That is why we have the best tanks. (Okay, all the tank battles use a point system so that everyone is on a even playing field between different tanks and crew modifiers). Now, I wouldn't give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed...but it does make for a more satisfying gaming experience. That's why Americans have never lost and will never lose a war. Because the very thought of losing is hateful to Americans. A simple Movement Phase, Shooting Phase, and Command Phase is all you will need to understand to go forth to victory.
Now, an army is a team. It lives, eats, sleeps, fights as a team. That is why you'll find crew cards to enhance your tank. Hell, the Brits even have a pudding and tea advantage card. This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap. The bilious bastards who wrote that stuff about individuality for Therewillbe.games don't know anything more about real battle than they do about fornicating. One of the joys of World Of Tanks Miniatures Game is that, instead of wondering what the hell your teammates are thinking and if their mic is muted, you can simply lean over and ask them “What the Hell are you doing?!?”
Now, we have the finest custom dice, we have pre-assembled painted tanks, the best spirit, and the finest crew and equipment cards in the world. You know, by God, I actually pity those poor bastards we're going up against. By God, I do. We're not just going to shoot the bastards. We're going to cut out their living guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks. I'm pretty sure there is a critical hit card for that. We're going to murder those lousy Hun bastards by the bushel.
Now, some of you boys, I know, are wondering whether or not you'll chicken-out under fire. Don't worry about it. I can assure you that you will all do your duty. It doesn't matter if you are playing Assault, Encounter, Capture the Base or Free-for-all Mode. The Nazis are the enemy. Wade into them. Spill their blood. Shoot them in the ammo supply. Cause a critical hit. When you put your hand into a bunch of plastic that a moment before was your best friend's tank, you'll know what to do.
Now, there's another thing I want you to remember. I don't want to get any messages saying that we are holding our position. We're not holding anything I don't care what Mode we are playing, Let the Hun do that. We are advancing constantly and we're not interested in holding onto anything -- except the enemy. We're going to point that arrow at his nose, and we're gonna kick him in the ass. We're gonna kick the hell out of him all the time (when we have proper line-of-sight), and we're gonna go through him like crap through a goose!
Now, there's one thing that you men will be able to say when you get back home, and you may thank God for it. Thirty years from now when you're sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee, and he asks you, "What did you do in the great World of Tanks Miniature Game?" -- you won't have to say, "Well, I shoveled shit in Louisiana."
Alright now you sons-of-bitches,You know how I feel. Oh, I will be proud to lead you wonderful guys into battle anytime, anywhere...as long as the gaming table is big enough.
That is all.
A review copy of this release was provided by the publisher.
