Clash of the Titans [Movie Review]

Clash of the Titans
Starring: Gemma Arterton, Liam Neeson, Sam Worthington
Director: Louis Leterrier
Warner Brothers Pictures
In Cinemas from Friday 2nd April

Clash of the Titans is a tale of the ultimate struggle for power, pitting men against kings and kings against gods. But the war between the gods themselves could destroy the world. Born of a god but raised as a man, Perseus (Sam Worthington –Every Movie Being Made At The Moment) is helpless to save his family from Hades (Ralph Fiennes – The Avengers, Maid In Manhattan), vengeful god of the underworld. With nothing left to lose, Perseus volunteers to lead a dangerous mission to defeat Hades before he can seize power from Zeus (Liam Neeson – Darkman, Fallout III) and unleash hell on earth.

Perseus sets off on a perilous journey deep into forbidden worlds, leading a daring band of warriors, including Draco, an experienced soldier who encourages the defiant Perseus to make use of his god-given abilities. Battling unholy demons and fearsome beasts, they will only survive if Perseus can accept his power as a god, defy his fate and create his own destiny.

I’m not usually one to flip out and scream “Oh my ever-loving Christ this is awesome!”, but that’s what I felt like doing all the way through this. I loved the original as a kid, and I love this one too, for precisely the same reasons. No, it doesn’t do it in exactly the same way, but they both made me feel excited, entertained, and blown away. The original was slower, and much more epic in scale than this – but the set-pieces, effects and big-bangs in this newer version achieve exactly the same result – it made me feel like a little kid again.

The cinematography is flawless. This isn’t a movie about capturing every nuance of emotion and character development. This is a movie about making everything look big. The view of the statue of Zeus being torn down and into the sea, the scenes in Mount Olympus, the battles with giant fucking scorpions all feel truly immersive. This has taken the original, added a scoop of Star Wars and a pint of Robert E. Howard and created the most fun action-fantasy movie sinceStardust.

The CG is nothing short of amazing, the score fantastic, and the monsters are giant fucking scorpions, but it should also be noted that the cast are pretty damn great too. They all know the kind of movie they’re making and ham it up when it needs it, show amazing subtlety during the quieter moments, and – when required – are funny, too. Everyone involved obviously had so much fun making this movie that is blasts off the screen better than any 3D special effect could.

And, there are giant fucking scorpions in it. And they areawesome.

The Kraken is great. It’s not shown until the climax of the movie, but the wait is well worth it. It’s so huge that it’s not really a “monster”, it’s “scenery”, and the action sequence is incredible. The Medusa (I thought her name was Medusa, and she was a Gorgon, but a) I don’t know enough about Greek Mythology to swear to that and b) that really would be missing the point of the movie) looks great, and the scene with her in is tense and scary stuff.

If you’re looking for a movie that’s a fun ride, combining pulp styling with a Hollywood summer blockbuster feel, then this is going to be well worth your time and money. If you want to spend a couple of hours feeling like an excited little kid again, then you’ll love this. This is the most Emotionally Fourteen release so far this year.

The Emotionally Fourteen Rating:
Violence: Several scenes of combat, explosions, monsters, burning, giant fucking scorpions, massive damage, mutilation, magical combat and some blood and gore.
Sex/Nudity: None.
Swearing: One “bitch” in reference to the Medusa.
Summary: A spectacular, pulp-fantasy ride of a movie. Sure, it’s brainless, arcade fun, but that’s what it tried to be, and it has succeeded. 10/10

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Brad Harmer is the editor and frequent columnist for Emotionally Fourteen. Check it out.