Star Wars: The Force Awakens - Barney's Incorrect Five Second Reviews

Star Wars: The Force Awakens - Barney's Incorrect Five Second Reviews Hot

Black Barney     
 
4.3
4913   0

This is a tough review to write. I had to see it a second time to have a proper viewing without my sky-high expectations getting in the way. People say expectations were low because of the prequels, but it's still Star Wars and it's JJ and the sky isn't the limit when it comes to how great this could be.

After a first viewing, I got the impression it was a movie that I loved watching but didn't really like. The 2nd viewing was much better (IMAX) and I certainly did like the movie very much. The movie FEELS like Star Wars which in my mind means that it is a total success. There are scenes I totally loved (Rey on Jakku, x-wing attack over water) and some which gave me pause. But the former far outweighs the latter. I loved the use of humour, the flawless special effects, the characters.

When you have strong characters, casting becomes primordial in importance. Rey is fantastic and I was surprised by how much I liked Oscar Issac as Poe Dameron. Not once did I think I was watching Inside Llewyn Davis, which means the performance was strong enough to not draw me out. Where the movie loses the most points with me is the casting of Gwendoline Christie as Plasma, Andy Serkis as Snoke and Greg Grunberg as Snap Wexley. With Plasma, you can't cast these iconic voices amongst shared fan base franchises. Everytime she spoke, I was in Westeros. I don't want to be in Westeros. I want to be on the Star Destroyer scared out of my mind. Snoke looks and acts way too much like Gollum. Thank goodness it was a holographic image, I hope it's not worse when this flimsy CGI character isn't as distorted. And the second I saw Greg Grunberg not even partially disguised, I was the taken out of the movie at light speed. Oh, it's that guy from other JJ materials like Felicity and Lost. JJ likes this guy, i get it. But he also likes Simon Pegg who I didn't even recognize in this movie. That's how you do it.

That's a lot of real estate in this review on casting but it's SO important to get right in movies that require full suspension of disbelief. Lots of people had a problem with Carrie Fisher in this capacity but I loved that you FELT her age in this. I didn't feel like they tried to mask it or anything. Here's a wise older woman, no longer a princess, who coordinated the retreat from Hoth and surely learned much from Mon Mothma... like I said, I could feel all of this from her.

In the end, it's a movie that's meant to evoke feelings. In fans primarily. I felt great watching it and it left my heart full and happy. My mind struggled with parts but overall it was happy too. I'm looking forward to the next iteration.

Heart rating: 4.5 stars

Brain rating: 4 stars

Star Wars: The Force Awakens - Barney's Incorrect Five Second Reviews There Will Be Games

Editor rating

(Updated: May 23, 2018)
Black Barney
Overall rating 
 
4.3
Heart 
 
4.5
Brain 
 
4.0

Summary

Movie Title
Star Wars: The Force Awakens

This is a tough review to write. I had to see it a second time to have a proper viewing without my sky-high expectations getting in the way. People say expectations were low because of the prequels, but it's still Star Wars and it's JJ and the sky isn't the limit when it comes to how great this could be.

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Posted: 08 Jan 2016 14:14 by johnnyspys #219409
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I was shocked by how much I liked it. After Jar Jar it has been hard to go into a Star Wars film hoping it would be awesome but this one gave me hope the next movies will be enjoyable...as long as they don't get Michael Bay to direct the next films.
Posted: 08 Jan 2016 14:28 by Space Ghost #219413
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Not once did I think I was watching Inside Llewyn Davis

Neither did anyone else, but that is because most people didn't see it.
Posted: 08 Jan 2016 14:45 by boothwah #219415
boothwah's Avatar
Not once did I think I was watching Inside Llewyn Davis,


Posted: 09 Jan 2016 01:56 by imrahil327 #219439
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5 stars. This would have a good chance of placing at championship level event. Almost no weaknesses.

It's funny, I had the exact same thoughts about Greg Grunberg, but literally none of the others. Gwen Christie's character would have been fine, had she actually done things and been a character. Pretty disappointed with how Phasma was used, and although there's speculation that it's setup for the next ones where she'll have a bigger role, it wasn't really worth it IMO. And I didn't get any Gollum from Snoke. *shrug*
Posted: 09 Jan 2016 06:30 by Sagrilarus #219440
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I got Gollum. Is it the same actor? We're talking about the big guy on the con-call, right?
Posted: 09 Jan 2016 06:42 by mads b. #219441
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I just don't understand why Phasma, a high ranking elite officer in a fanatic army, would just give up and do what they asked. I know it's and adventure movie and all that, but it's just a very bad fit with the way the rest of The New Order is portrayed.
Posted: 09 Jan 2016 08:24 by Black Barney #219444
Black Barney's Avatar
Exactly. I didn't put it in my review but I hated how the movie lazily made THE FIRST ORDER portrayed as evil. It was shocking when the evil GALACTIC EMPIRE destroyed Alderman. You were suspecting that Tarkin was bluffing. But now in this one, there is this rally where some Harry Potter fanatic is making a crazy speech in front of an impressive army, red banners and all. It was a little too Third Reich for me. And then to top it off, you think killing six million people is bad? Watch this! Blows up several worlds at once. Thus reducing Death Star's act of destruction to Murder 2 with early parole. Ok, we get it, you are evil and nuts and must be stopped at all costs. I just found that whole sequence a little easy.

Sag, yeah same actor. They look the same. Snoke made two faces in particular that were super Gollum-like. It would have been better with no CGI, that was the problem.

Chris!!! You're here! *smoooooch*
Posted: 09 Jan 2016 11:22 by lala #219448
SuperFlySwatter's Avatar
I think you sold the movie short, it was fucking fantastic, even with all the flaws (by the way you hit the nail on the head with Phasma, they dropped the ball with that, should have been uber bad ass, just felt a bit stupid with Game of Thrones Knight Chick voice and lack of competence and menace). Also the new emperor did just look like a cross between Bill Nighy and fucking gollum so they fucked that up as well, but still, it was fucking great. Just fucking great, and such a shame to be reminded what utter fucking bollocks the prequels were. Even if this film was close to the original, I think that was very humble of JJ to say here you are, I love Star Wars, you love Star Wars, this is how it should be, I might start to bring my own stuff into the story in the next episodes but you can see here my homage to the original. Just fucking great, I was praying for it not to end the whole time.