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Blade Runner 2049 - Barney's Incorrect Five Second Reviews
 
4.3
BB Black Barney Updated May 12, 2018 2955   0
How has this movie not even made $90 million yet? Is it the length? I am so happy I didn't miss the chance to see this in theatres. I think my biggest takeaway is how surprisingly affecting it was. I couldn't get enough of the scenes between K (Gosling) and Joi (great supporting performance by Ana de Armas). The 2nd scene in the movie felt like almost 20 minutes of just setting this up, and at the time i found it surprising to spend this much screentime on developing this sub-plot, but it sure paid...
Lady Bird - Barney's Incorrect Five Second Reviews
 
4.8
BB Black Barney Updated May 12, 2018 2979   0
Wow. Where did this come from? I honestly walked into this thinking this was an early biopic of Lady Bird Johnson. Last year around this time, i cluelessly walked into Moonlight expecting something completely different as well. I think this must be the very best way to walk into a movie because this is twice that i've been totally blown away. It's similar in some ways to last year's Edge of Seventeen except instead of just supplying the ups, this one also gets into the downs really effectively. In fact, depression is explored on many...
The Star - Barney's Incorrect Five Second Reviews
 
3.0
BB Black Barney Updated May 12, 2018 2937   0
More family-appropriate than Passion of the Christ. I really wanted to take 6-year old Emily to see Wonder but she saw a preview of The Star and really wanted to see this instead. A lot of my childhood had a large amount of catholic indoctrination media (mostly audio cassettes) so I was weary to expose her to anything that could be dripping with the Jesus juice. This movie was not that, it was a really fun and a nice adventure of basically all the animals that end up in the manger where someone of great significance...
Everything Barney does not watch Five Second Review – The Dark Tower
 
3.5
LK Lady Klis Updated May 12, 2018 3412   0
After Barney beat me to Cars 3, I when to see The Dark Tower. His comment on me going to see this movie was exactly this: “It’s going to be TERRIBLE.” It wasn’t though. As the movie starts, you are reminded how Stephen King’s novel adaptations are – a dark movie with someone “crazy” because they have dreams or visions. Nonetheless, this movie does a fantastic job at keeping you at the edge of your seat the entire hour and a half, except for one cheap trick that gets you entirely out of the movie… I seriously don’t get...
Everything Barney does not watch Five Second Review - Fate of the Furious 8
 
3.0
LK Lady Klis Updated May 12, 2018 5083   0
After Paul Walker "left", I was pretty sure they would stop the Fast and the Furious movies.... but I guess now with Dwayne Johnson the story will go on... I found that this one was different, the story had an interesting twist and it was more "realistic" to a certain extent. There was very plausible use of hacking and technology which was fun to watch, and the villain of this movie was as cold as it gets. They took many elements from the previous movie so it's a good idea to watch it first if you...
The Lego Ninjago Movie - Barney's Incorrect Five Second Reviews
 
2.8
BB Black Barney Updated May 12, 2018 3266   0
Having been able to resist bringing 6-year old Emily to The Emoji Movie or Nut Job 2, finally a movie that looks OK enough comes out for kids that I rushed her to the theatre... ...and fell into a deep, deep sleep. I'm really hoping that the people behind these Lego movies see that you can't just throw the same formula at it over and over again. It's not always going to work. It's not awful or anything, it's probably even passable. It is just really nowhere near the quality of the past two Lego movies....
Logan Lucky - Barney's Incorrect Five Second Reviews
 
4.3
BB Black Barney Updated May 12, 2018 3879   0
Ocean's 11 with hicks/rednecks? Hey, it's about time we see a smart movie (in this case, a heist one) with people from the South. I thought this was a real treat. I laughed a few times and was consistently surprised by several things going on. Most of which were probably Daniel Craig and Adam Driver's performances as southerners, which I really enjoyed. Katie Holmes was pretty awful though. Also, it's the most you'll ever enjoy someone getting a tetanus shot, "whatever happened to 3,2,1?!" It's just good ol'...
War for the Planet of the Apes - Barney's Incorrect Five Second Reviews
 
4.3
BB Black Barney Updated May 12, 2018 3828   0
I'm really mixed up about this movie. I feel super conflicted on how I feel about it. The acting is excellent, visually it's very impressive, the special effects are insane... but the screenplay and editing aren't great which doesn't make it compelling at all. For full disclosure, I didn't see the 2nd one (I did really like the first one), so maybe that's why i have no emotional pull at all to any of the characters. Maybe. I'd like to think rather that it's because too much attention was put to the special effects and not enough to the...
Baby Driver - Barney's Incorrect Five Second Reviews
 
4.5
BB Black Barney Updated May 12, 2018 3649   0
Well that was a total blast. Fun to see a movie that puts a smile on your face for much of it, while also having a few moments where I'm in total awe at the masterful art direction and editing. The way they do the rotating camera in most of the scenes with Baby/Deborah, and all the spinning... you can just lose yourself in those scenes, and that's the entire point. They're the dream sequences but they're actually happening. The acting on all sides is really top shelf. Jon Hamm and Jaime Foxx...
Dunkirk - Barney's Incorrect Five Second Reviews
 
4.5
BB Black Barney Updated May 12, 2018 3751   0
I grew up on Dunkirk street. I lived in a town where all the street names have some sort of historic significance. All I knew of the event growing up was that it was a large retreat in early WWII. That certainly doesn't mean much on its own, it's hard to understand or fathom the logistics in moving 400k men off a beach that has only one pier large enough to dock ships. Christopher Nolan has succeeded in doing something very special here, making you not only understand these things but feel what it was like...
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