Titan? IT STINKS!

Every year at Thanksgiving and Christmas, I have my local gamestore owner over for dinner, as he is family-less, and I figure any sucking up I can do may get me some discounts on games .

Today, as always he shows up with with his usual donation to our dinner, a frozen, purchased, cheesecake and a case of Bud Light.

He then turns to me and tells me he has to go out to the car and get something else.

What? Says I.

Titan he says with a shit eating grin and a wink! He brings in this beautiful, and I do mean beautiful box. At that very instant, the turkey and the ham are forgotten. We open it up on the coffee table ignoring the cries of my wife to "cut the damn turkey, so we can eat already!".

I cut the wrap, pop the lid, and guess what? It's like opening Duel in the Dark all over again. The smell hits me like ROTC Kid on a bad hair day. Fucking Mildew. Come on Valley Games! It took you forever to get this thing to me, and when I finally get it, it smells like my grandma's basement circa 1978? WTF?

Is it too much to ask to get a dry game? It was $70 damn dollars! I bet Tom Vasel's copy don't smell like a god-damn wet mop! (Of course if I was the most over-hyped, self promoting, man in boardgames....never mind.)

Point being, I spent $70.00 on a "wet" game, and another $3.00 on paper towels trying to dry it out! So I work up my own drying system (check out the cool pix ). Crack open one of the beers, block out my wife's bitchin' about using 3 rolls of paper-towels that were bought to sop up gravy, and set down to read the rules.

And guess what? Another set of shitty rules! (I bet Tom Vasel's rules are well written, of course....oh forget it.) It's Hannibal all over again. Rules that just don't explain shit well at all. How can you make such a beautiful game, with soooo many problems? I don't get it? I don't think I ever will.

I'm not trying to come down hard on Valley Games, I really do appriciate what they are trying to do for the hobby. But come on! Throw me a bone! Help a brother out. You got a dollar? JESUS!

So if you are thinking about sending this to someone as there self-promoting secret santa, do them a favor and send along an air-freshener and a copy of the AH rules, cause THIS version of Titan Stinks!