Once a millennium, the stars will align and the collective Twitterverse will actually come up with a good idea. In this case, the thread started as the typical “Add up the rankings for the games you own on the Board Game Geek Best Games list and lowest score wins.” But the cool twist was added/suggested by Josh Look who replied to the original post with “Not to steal any thunder, but I'm more interested in your first 10 from the bottom going up and why you like them.” Yes, now that is something that interests me.
To begin with, I'm just going to ignore the “Classic” games here. (Anyone who thinks Yahtzee should actually be ranked 19,279 is just being silly). You also won't find any expansions because I don't think BGG even rates those separately and I can't be arsed to put the effort into figuring that out. I'm also going to disqualify anything that doesn't have enough votes to be given a BGG ranking (with the exception of Stoner Parking Lot because well, fuck it, that's why).
None of my Bottom/Top Ten even break the top 1,000 games (If I include Stoner Parking Lot, which I am. So, to reiterate, fuck it). But, hey, if you want to know what games that reside in the bottom of the top 1,000 that I own and recommend here is that list (And links to the articles I have written about them, when applicable.) :
Whitehall Mystery (682) – Hidden Movement trying to apprehend not-Jack-the-Not-Ripper. To quote a response I recieved on our messageboard when I posted something about playing this over the Christmas Season "Nothing says Happy Holidays like Dead Hookers."
Medieval Academy (969) – Sushi Go-ing to the next level of complexity.
Stoner Parking Lot – No actual BGG ranking
*Fade in to Pink Floyd's “Comfortably Numb” playing in the background*
“So, how long ago did you review Stoner Parking Lot?”
“Ummm, February of 2019.”|
“And you gave it 3.5 Stars...”
“But you still play it, on a regular basis, It made your best of 2019 list. Mondo Games picked it up for wider distribution in April of 2020 (4/20...blaze it). and it literally has never failed to provide uproarious laughter every.single.time,you bust it out.”
“I assume you have a point?”
*Social Distortion's “I Was Wrong” begins playing*
“See...Even the music is trying to tell you something. Karma, justice, whatever you call it. You should update your Stoner Parking Lot rating.”
“...Did you just quote Drivin' n Cryin'?
*Soft Giggling starts*
“The Buzz around this game...”
“Oh God, stop,”
“I mean, it's not that high in the rankings...”
“Please, let just it go...”
“But, It's not just smoke and mirrors...”
“It is not some half-baked idea. High times are guaranteed and Party Favors are not required.” *whispers* “You think they will know what I mean when I say “Party Favors”
“I don't know, did your parents ever break that code back in the day? Well, the game certainly has more legs that I thought it would...”
“..And it knows how to use them” *spins an air guitar*
“Do ANY of your pop culture references exist outside of the 80s?”
“Shut up Ted!”
“Fine. I agree, I should boost the score I originally gave Stoner Parking Lot. *Opens up Therewillbe.games* So, how the hell do I go about that?”
“I don't know dude, pretty sure I'm just a figment of your imagination. And, if you don't mind me saying, if you are going to be this long-winded this is going to have to be a multi-part article.”
Finger Guns at High Noon (BGG Rank 7042-as of this writing)
The Buzz behind Finger Guns at High Noon was palpable. I gave it 4.5 Stars when I reviewed it in October of 2019. A few months later it won Best Party game of the Year in my 2019 recap. What could possibly hinder a fantastic party game from getting the attention and plays it deserves?
A global fucking pandemic.
Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear, when the bad guys were the ones who wore masks (A special exception will be made for Clayton Moore). Back to when we could play a game of Finger Guns instead of sitting round twiddling our thumbs. Take off your cowboy hats and say a little prayer for all the hours of Finger Guns lost to countless canceled conventions. Let's hope when conventions return, everyone will remember to play a few games of Finger Guns at High Noon. It's not like we are a fickle crowd who will be chasing the hotness of the next big thing by then. Hell, I've already requested a witches and warlocks version called "Finger Wands at Midnight." Don't fuck this up for me guys.
Thank you for checking out the first part of my (apparently) multi-part series: From the Depths.
Coming up next time: a mythical racing title, an environmentally unfriendly flicking fracas, and a time vortex that I can't stop throwing money at.