Front Page

Content

Authors

Game Index

Forums

Site Tools

Submissions

About

KK
Kevin Klemme
March 09, 2020
35142 2
Hot
KK
Kevin Klemme
January 27, 2020
20816 0
Hot
KK
Kevin Klemme
August 12, 2019
7404 0
Hot
O
oliverkinne
December 19, 2023
3965 0
Hot
O
oliverkinne
December 14, 2023
3491 0
Hot

Mycelia Board Game Review

Board Game Reviews
O
oliverkinne
December 12, 2023
2074 0
O
oliverkinne
December 07, 2023
2582 0

River Wild Board Game Review

Board Game Reviews
O
oliverkinne
December 05, 2023
2250 0
O
oliverkinne
November 30, 2023
2494 0
J
Jackwraith
November 29, 2023
3009 0
Hot
O
oliverkinne
November 28, 2023
1971 0
S
Spitfireixa
October 24, 2023
3692 0
Hot
O
oliverkinne
October 17, 2023
2619 0
O
oliverkinne
October 10, 2023
2461 0
O
oliverkinne
October 09, 2023
2289 0
O
oliverkinne
October 06, 2023
2505 0

Outback Crossing Review

Board Game Reviews
×
Bugs: Recent Topics Paging, Uploading Images & Preview (11 Dec 2020)

Recent Topics paging, uploading images and preview bugs require a patch which has not yet been released.

× Talk about Eurogames here.

Who Says Euros Don't Tell A Story....

More
29 Jan 2008 03:06 #1592 by mikoyan
Since it's basically multiplayer solitaire, I'm just going to tell it from the perspective of one person...

Well, it's Peurto Rico, land of opportunity for a landed person like myself. Well, I'll just stake my clain in this section of San Juan and begin. Hmmm, it seems that my workers carved out a corn field for me. I guess that will work for my tortillas. But wait, I don't have any workers until the mayor calls the slave ship in. (I'm not going to succumb to the PC name for the slaves).

Okay, the mayor called in the slave ship, so I guess I'll go down to the slave market. But wait, these slaves are free....bonus! Pretty slim pickings, so I guess I'll take this group. They can work on my corn field. Yes...I'll grow lots of corn.

Well, I want to build my buildings in San Juan cheaply, so I'll dig a quarry so that I can get lots of rocks. Hmmm, I guess my workers must have died while digging the quarry. Oh well, I guess I'll wait for the slave ship again.

Joy! My crops have come it. Let's see, some corn and....I don't have any other fields yet.

Well, let's see what sort of buildings I can build. I really want to build a small market but it seems that other people have taken them. Dammit and here I had these nice blueprints too. I guess I'll build nothing.

The ships have come in. They want my corn but for some reason they don't want to pay me? Why should I give them my corn. Communism hasn't been created yet.

Another chance to build another plantation. For some reason I can't build a quarry, so I'll take another corn field. Damn, my workers keep dying because I don't have anyone to plant the fields. I guess I'll wait for the slave ship again.

Happiness, the new slave ship has come in. I can get slaves for my corn field. Maybe this field will be more bountiful than the last.

Again, my crops have come in. Both fields produce the same amount of corn. Talking to some of the other plantation owners, they produce the same amounts. I guess there's the same soil on the whole island.

Since the ships don't pay me money for my corn, maybe this trading house will. 1 Gold? ARe you shitting me. 1 stinking gold. This is the best corn in all of Puerto Rico. Wait, they pay more for coffee.

Another chance to build a plantation. Hmmm, maybe I'll try to grow coffee. What the fuck? My workers are dead again. How am I going to grow anything on this god forsaken island if my workers keep dying? Farming doesn't seem to kill them. I might have to kill my construction foremen.

Wow, I got some gold prospecting. Maybe I can afford that Coffee Roaster.

Joy! More slaves....My section of the island is really growing.

Dammit, they want my corn again. Wait...No they don't. I see empty ships but they want something other than corn. Fuckers. This is wierd, for no apparent reason my corn is rotting on the docks. Jesus Christ.....

Cool, a chance to build my coffee roaster and I'll do just that. GOD DAMMIT! My workers died building this building. How the fuck am I going to get more workers if my workers keep dying? I know...More slaves.

I'm building another plantation. I don't see any good land for coffee. Maybe I'll try tobacco this time.

Joy...More slaves, now I can produce more coffee.

Speaking of which, I grow more corn. Still the same amount. Maybe the next time I build a plantation or building I can use the workers to fertilize my fields. And I grow the same amount of coffee? What the fuck?

Hey, the trading house would normally want coffee but some other jackass sold them coffee....I guess I'll build an office to fuck with them.

And so on....

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
29 Jan 2008 05:56 #1595 by Schweig!
I'm going to write you a personal message complaining about your ignorance...

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
29 Jan 2008 09:04 - 29 Jan 2008 09:06 #1600 by mikoyan
Schweig! wrote:

I'm going to write you a personal message complaining about your ignorance...

Oh right...they are "colonists"...."colonists".....

I take that back. Actually, Puerto Rico isn't really set back in the 1600's and it's not really Puerto Rico. It's actually a cleverly disguised ploy to sell Communist propaganda. The setting is really modern day Cuba and they aren't "colonists", they are really happy workers enjoying the modern paradise that is a Communist State.
Last edit: 29 Jan 2008 09:06 by mikoyan.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
29 Jan 2008 10:25 #1602 by Michael Barnes
I keep thinking that this story would be better if it were told by Bill Cosby.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
29 Jan 2008 10:48 #1609 by Chapel
Wow, you're not very good at games. From now on your Delta house name is "Dead Last"..

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
29 Jan 2008 10:49 #1610 by Schweig!
Michael Barnes wrote:

I keep thinking that this story would be better if it were told by Bill Cosby.

Or maybe if you could sink that ship that doesn't carry your goods?

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
29 Jan 2008 10:55 #1611 by mikoyan
This wasn't based on any actual game....Just randomly put together...

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
29 Jan 2008 10:55 #1612 by Schweig!
Wow, I just saw...

you really got that approved as a session report?!

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
29 Jan 2008 11:16 #1614 by mikoyan
Schweig! wrote:

Wow, I just saw...

you really got that approved as a session report?!

Apparently...:)

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
08 Feb 2008 03:37 #2247 by Harkonnen13
That report is fucking genius. Made me laugh out loud.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
09 Feb 2008 14:58 #2325 by Steve Bernhardt
Best session report evar!

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Moderators: Gary Sax
Time to create page: 0.172 seconds