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TOPIC: More proof that F:ATties are the best

More proof that F:ATties are the best 08 Feb 2016 14:58 #222008

As part of the Math Awakens trade, I got a huge lot of Battlelore. That's not that interesting. What IS interesting is how it was packed.

Inside the box was a Members Only jacket with paint on it, some old school BDU pants with a blown out crotch (something tells me Alistair is a painter) and, finally, a box "filler" which is the single most fucked up consumer gadget since the shake weight...

image-6.jpeg


Made
My
Day
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youtube.com/watch?v=ZkHxIlNZTk4
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More proof that F:ATties are the best 08 Feb 2016 15:04 #222010

you gotta leave the eggs out overnight?!

Don't bother setting the alarm the following night. You aren't waking up.

How did those pancakes get flipped?

i love the picture of the guy in the bottom right all serious. He's got his cook-face on.
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More proof that F:ATties are the best 08 Feb 2016 15:07 #222011

"Sleep mask included"
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More proof that F:ATties are the best 08 Feb 2016 15:10 #222012

On the back is their other product. It's a fry cooker with alarm clock. Who doesn't want to sleep with scalding hot grease inches from their head? Is there any better way to wake up than to the smell and sound of sizzling bacon? And their slogans. Rise and dine? Wake and bake? Priceless.

No I am not a painter. I manage commercial real estate. I have been known to touch up paint but mostly hire that out. I never wore any of that stuff I don't think.
Last Edit: 08 Feb 2016 15:21 by MacDirk Diggler.
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More proof that F:ATties are the best 08 Feb 2016 15:12 #222013

Where the hell is the bacon?! Every gentile knows the best way to wake up is to the smell of sizzling pork. There is nothing better. This is just yet another attack on Catholicism. Someone call FOX NEWS.

I used to have something similar but it made a pot of coffee. I honestly think it was the happiest way I've ever woken up....well....the 2nd happiest.
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Last Edit: 08 Feb 2016 16:06 by Black Barney. Reason: apparently I can't spell wake.
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More proof that F:ATties are the best 08 Feb 2016 15:38 #222014

Double post. Accidentally thanking BB. Geeez. Although reading it over now it's actually a good enough post.
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Boardgames suck.
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More proof that F:ATties are the best 08 Feb 2016 15:39 #222015

Tell me about it, I got this for free this week! The Fort rocks.

image-2.jpeg
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Boardgames suck.
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More proof that F:ATties are the best 08 Feb 2016 15:41 #222017

Black Barney wrote:
Where the hell is the bacon?! Every gentile knows the best way to take up is to the smell of sizzling pork. There is nothing better. This is just yet another attack on Catholicism. Someone call FOX NEWS.

I used to have something similar but it made a pot of coffee. I honestly think it was the happiest way I've ever woken up....well....the 2nd happiest.

As a devout (and arguably, apostate) Catholic, I approve of this message. Despite the fact that I despise pork. Nah, I ain't Jewish, I just don't dig on swine, that's all. Pigs are filthy animals. I don't eat filthy animals. Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker. Pigs sleep and root in shit. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eat nothin' that ain't got sense enough to disregard its own feces.
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More proof that F:ATties are the best 08 Feb 2016 15:43 #222018

JJ, the way your boy is sitting reminds me of this:




Better break out the flamethrower!
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Last Edit: 08 Feb 2016 15:43 by Black Barney.
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More proof that F:ATties are the best 08 Feb 2016 16:01 #222020

Tried inserting the video, but apparently the Fort hates me.



Edit: Or apparently all you have to do is copy and paste the link into the text thing.
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Last Edit: 08 Feb 2016 16:02 by metalface13.
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More proof that F:ATties are the best 08 Feb 2016 16:34 #222024

Having worked at Whole Foods for 8 years now, I'll be the first person in line to come to the defense of stoner engineering. I've seen some really killer stuff, like the rice crispy treats with fucking ice cream in the center. This, on the other hand...not one of those instances. "Dude, you know what would rule? An alarm clock...THAT COOKS YOU BREAKFAST!"

Also, it says "Wake and Bake" on the box. Heh.
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I'm ok with Ben Affleck playing Batman. At least there will be a better director on set.
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More proof that F:ATties are the best 08 Feb 2016 17:49 #222028

PRANK-20076-B2730-Wake-And-Bake-6.jpg


lrgscalePRANK-20076-B2730-Wake-And-Bake-2.jpg
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More proof that F:ATties are the best 08 Feb 2016 18:39 #222031

Looks like something the Bluth family would sell.
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More proof that F:ATties are the best 08 Feb 2016 19:11 #222032

Coming to early and disoriented to a horrible beeping, with a sleep mask over my eyes so I can't see shit, waking up to the smell of freshly burnt hair and flesh as I try find the snooze button. Sublime.
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Sneak Attack!
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More proof that F:ATties are the best 08 Feb 2016 19:22 #222033

"Get up on the tasty side of the bed." Hilarious.
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