What POSITIVE CHANGES are you making in your life?

I'm thinking of starting a new thread: "What NATION-STATES are you considering LEAVING?"

jpat wrote: I'm thinking of starting a new thread: "What NATION-STATES are you considering LEAVING?"

If I was in my 20s right now, I would seriously consider leaving the United States for a more civilized country. The U.S. might not even be democracy for much longer, and there could be a brutal civil war on the way. There have always been political disagreements here, but the conversations often remained civil because we were all watching the same news and living in the same reality. But I'm old, so I've got too much invested in the fading American Dream. I've got a house, a good job, and friends, and I'm too old to start from scratch somewhere else.

When it became clear that the divorce was happening and I didn't think I wanted to stay in the area, I considered that I was more or less free to go anywhere, which included becoming an expatriate. But where would I go? Right wing authoritarianism is surging everywhere, the US pushes its influence everywhere, and many of its worst decisions and actions are going to affect the entire globe. Plus there's the idea that I'd have to find a host country where I could maximize "has socialist policies" and minimize "is racist as hell", a tough calculus.

I've been wanting to relocate for a while.

www.numbeo.com is a good way to find places that would leverage your savings, and be more functional than the US.

Uruguay, for example, has national health care, faster internet (on average), 90% of their electricity is from renewables ... even renting in the capital city, overall cost of living is 75% compared to where I am now.

Unfortunately, my spouse wouldn't want to go, so that's a non-starter.

Costa Rica was on our short list due to their benefits for digital nomads, friendly country, and strength of the dollar there.

jpat wrote: I'm thinking of starting a new thread: "What NATION-STATES are you considering LEAVING?"

Less than one month and I get out of a country that is even more dystopian than the one you all are talking about. Due to my job I've been abroad for the better part of the last twenty years. The US was better than all but one of those places, however IMO Frankfurt was far, far, far better than the US.

Funny thing is if you have money (and white privilege) living abroad you get treated far better than the locals. And as part of a built in community (embassies and consulate folks band together) they still suck compared to the US. Even with that I wouldn't go back to the majority of places I have been. I did go back to Germany for a second assignment and would have done it a third time if my perspective on life didn't change.

I don't know if the pandemic has changed what I want from life, or my kids will soon be high school age, or what. I do know that I'd like to spend the rest of my time in my house, not being a stranger in someone else's.

Our house in Michigan is sold/pending and that closes on 5/27. We have put down money on a newly biult house in The Villages, Florida and close on that on 6/13. No more of that damnable snow. I'm already in contact with a gaming group down there, so I may get to do a bit of in-person Commands & Colors stuff among other games. As a couple of the youngest residents (47-48 in an over-55 development), we are looking forward to welcoming the next gen of gamers as they come down this way.

I uh went a little dark on this geeklist:
boardgamegeek.com/geeklist/299485/divorc...eurogamer-experience

A week ago I replaced my television with a bookcase and I'm never going back. Amazing how much I turned it on just because it was in front of me when I sat down. I can still watch stuff on my laptop but that's usually on my desk where I work.

Shellhead wrote:

jpat wrote: I'm thinking of starting a new thread: "What NATION-STATES are you considering LEAVING?"

If I was in my 20s right now, I would seriously consider leaving the United States for a more civilized country.

If I were in my 20s right now I would lift weights, get a computer science degree, leave the country and get a partner who tends to wear paint spattered overalls without a shirt when they create art in our loft from found objects (wait, is this Demi Moore in ghost?). We would ride our bicycles around the city, visit cafes, and have two beautiful children. I would write books on the side. My beard would be impressive. Maybe a nose ring. We would belong to several collectives. In the winter we would take the children to school on our cross country skis. Also, a sauna.

I'm going to write a bit of a book here so bear with me:

2020: You all know what happened. I had a job I had grown to hate but it was a reasonable job. In hindsight, I was the problem. Rona came and I found myself unemployed. This seemed like a good thing because it got me out of a forced office environment and kept me safe for a long time. I also used the time to pass part of the CMA (Certified Management Accountant) exam. Think CPA but internal for companies.

In August of 2020, I landed a new job. Seemed fine. The trauma of the sudden lay off of my previous job reared it's ugly head and things got weird. I was immediately uncomfortable and started looking again right away. Forward to December 2020 when I got a big promotion. I was going from Staff Accountant to Assistant Controller. This required me to move house about an hour away. As you can imagine, this uprooted a lot in my life. Since I'm not from MI originally, my whole world changed. I may as well have been in a different country.

In April of 2021, I was contacted by a cannabis company. I was pretty stoked. The job I was in was fine, but it didn't motivate me or move me in any way. I took the job because it was a little less money and theoretically a whole lot less responsibility. I was already aware that being in charge was not something I was comfortable with. I went into this job really stoked. Without going in to too much detail, that went completely tits up over time. The company is garbage and their senior "leadership" is far from it. I was working 60-70 hours every week. Eventually I complained and stopped doing all the OT. Oh, I was salary so it's not like I was getting paid. About a month thereafter the witch hunt started. I quit. I straight up quit. I was BROKEN by that point.

In February 2021 I started therapy. II was working on the rest of the CMA exam and in a job I didn't like. I still do therapy to this day. As the cannabis job became harder and harder, this became the one thing that got me through. Oh, also way too much weed and alcohol. My neighbors are wonderful people who also happen to be alcoholics. I spend a lot of time with them and it was rubbing off because I needed it to at the time. I was simply trying to stay alive.

This is disjointed AF because it's the first time I'm saying a lot of this out loud and I don't have my thoughts organized. That's fine because I think you'll get the message.

In April of this year, I landed a job with Robert Half as one of their consultants. I work for them and they farm me out to clients. An over-glorified temp situation. It's FANTASTIC. I have hours that are good (40 per week) and I get OT for anything I work over. My boss is great. My first engagement has been fantastic. I've continued the therapy. I even did a stint with a life coach who helped me understand what I want. Here's my list, in order:

1. Stay alive so my wife doesn't have to bury me
2. Pay for my house
3. Hang with my wife and dogs
4. Literally everything else.

I didn't realize my needs were simple. In fact, I realized what I thought were my needs were everyone else's. I love this simplification. It's been like starting a new life. Of course I still have interests in games, guitars, art, and the such. I just know where those fall in my hierarchy.

I'm riding my bike a ton. I'm out in my garden a lot. I'm in the yard as much as possible. I still smoke weed, but I'm quitting alcohol because I don't like how I feel. I have fitness/bike goals and I can't get there with the booze so out it goes.

Thanks for listening to my TED talk. That's the brain dump of two years worth of trauma and hurt.

Thank you for sharing your blast, Storm. It's not always easy laying that shit out on the open. Kudos to you for seeking therapy to make those life evaluations. It is a path that is not used nearly enough by people.


My wife and I have completed our move to The Villages here in Florida. this is our third week in the house and the unpacking and painting and organization continues. We got a nice new smoker/grill rig so I can tantalize the neighbors with the smell of grilled and smoked meats. My wife has the lanai set up as her personal jungle with orchids and succulents and such. I am back on my 36/12 fasting schedule and running again in a quest to drop the 30 pounds I gained in the last 4 months due to selling/buying/moving stress.

I drove a 26' truck with a car trailer and my wife and her friend drove her car down. We packed up the truck on Saturday, left Saturday evening, and drove through the night to get to Florida. It was about a 24 hour drive for me in the truck since that thing was loaded to the gills and low on the hills....unless it was downhill. There were many Monsters and pork rinds consumed.

There is a scale modeling group I hooked up with here and went to a meeting 5 minutes away at one of the local rec centers. even found a couple prospective DnD players. One of the old dudes had brought in some reaper figs he painted including a cool looking owlbear. I think having a group so close by will help me get back into building for sure.

There is a wargaming group in nearby Ocala who are into the COIN games, so my FitL and Andean Abyss won't be toads much longer. And they have some CnC fans, so those will get play. here are local gaming groups as well to get things off the shelf. I have an old Army friend in Tampa who I need to get down to see and game with.

Despite it being Florida, with the baggage that entails, this has been a good move for us. There are some liberal pockets around for some sanity. It's only two more lib votes in this nutball state, but you can't change it by ducking out, only by running in, right? I anticipate us being known as 'those people' on the street. My only hope is that this a new section and is attracting broader-minded people.....maybe. lol

If any of you come down this way, the lights are on for you and a promise of good food, drink, and games.

Thanks, man. I appreciate it. That got real dark at a lot of points in there and it didn't always feel like it was going to have a great outcome.

Best of luck in Florida. It's beautiful, that's for sure. Make the most out of it.

Second the thanks for sharing, Stormy. Kinda wondered what happened to you after the last time we talked. I'm sorry I didn't follow up and try to tempt you with at least some dice and/or cards. Glad to know you're doing better. And the offer still stands, of course, anytime you get the urge to play something or if you just feel like sitting by the river for a few hours (We also moved since the last time you were here...)

Thanks, my man. I appreciate it. I'll shoot you an e-mail.