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What POSITIVE CHANGES are you making in your life?
Was off meds for a bit but have (so far) kept the post office job. Feel like there has to be a foreign word for working so much that it keeps you miserable, but also stable. I’d work a lot fewer hours if I was good (read: fast) at my job, but I’m not.
* I am now in my own house, which I have been busy setting up and furnishing
* we have a court date for July 22, but even when we get a judgement it's still like 3 months until divorce is finalized
* I have been titrating off my antidepressants. I'm done with one and spinning down the other. Even when I was taking both at full strength I was miserable and suicidal, so I doubt there's anything lost here
* I have profiles on dating sites. Anyone want to hook up with an old fat nerd? We'll see. But I'm trying to push myself into things I'd otherwise hold back from
* I am amicable with my ex (we aren't fighting about who gets what or anything) but I don't want to be friends. A lot of shit happened that I am not yet ready to forget or forgive and maybe that's not healthy, but I also know that regardless of how I feel about my current situation I still know what got me here. We were doing a zoom lunch on Sundays with her family and I skipped last Sunday's without even a message. Rude, I know, but look, I need space to exist in my new normal and not hold on to old shit. Sorry, in-laws,
* Manic phase of the move is over and a lot of realness is settling in. I know things aren't going to be rosy. I know things I imagined would happen aren't going to happen. I know I have more work to do. It's hard but I feel more prepared to handle it.
* I am absolutely indebted to my friends who have stayed with me through all this, buoyed me, and helped me feel loved. I literally would not be here without them.
I've started watching a ton of streaming TV and movies instead of scrolling the internet and it has been a really healthy change.
Jexik wrote: I got glasses for the first time in nearly 18 years. I can see marginally better far away.
After putting it off for years I was finally forced to get glasses in order to pass the eye exam to renew my drivers license. I can see short distance OK, but my long distance and esp night vision were shit. HUGE difference, wish I had done it sooner. Since I only need them to drive I don't have to worry about misplacing them since I just leave them in the car.
So I have a very good vision plan through work, and don’t need prescription glasses for day to day. So on a flyer I had a pair of bifocals made that are designed for four feet and ten inches. That is, pieces on a board or map on the table, and mini-cards with small print on them. I even brought game counters in with me to the appointment to lay on the table for a reference.
The result is an odd pair of glasses that I at first thought were a failure. But I pressed myself to use them on a couple of game nights including one with cards and counters, and after a bit I trained myself to use them. They worked out well. I can look over the top so I get triple vision out of them, and even cards with microprint are in reach, because I can hold them close enough to read. I don’t need them every game night, but some nights they’re invaluable.
The doc thought I was nutty. “How will you read your computer with these?” But with basic frames they cost me $70, and they filled the real gap I had. My readers solve my computer needs and given how often I get angry at my code it’s good to have $4 readers to throw across the room. For games I need longer and shorter. These are much better than wearing two pairs of reading glasses when the mini-cards come out.
given how often I get angry at my code it’s good to have $4 readers to throw across the room.
I love the little things I learn on this site.
So far the only side effects have been: return of restless leg syndrome, difficulty focusing, irritability. I figure I still have a couple weeks of those but only the focus has been really bad.