Sony is negotiating rights to a Settlers of Catan movie

variety.com/2017/film/news/settlers-of-c...vie-sony-1202587485/

"Sony Pictures is in negotiations to acquire the rights to adapt “Catan,” the influential board game also known as “The Settlers of Catan,” into a film."

Good luck, Sony. Settlers of Catan is a boring game with no narrative and a theme that is barely even there. Once you get the Wood for Sheep joke out of the way, most of the entertainment value is gone.

Sometimes you see a licensed product and wonder why they sought out a license at all. I don't see calling something Catan bringing in that many more viewers than if it was just some dumb movie. And as you mentioned, it will be some completely unrelated movie, since there is nothing in the game to hang a narrative on. Unless it's about people, playing Catan. That would at least make more sense.

Maybe they can do Cards Against Humanity. The game is taking the country BY STORM!!! But it turns out the cards are cursed/infected/whatever, and one too many Cleveland Steamer jokes turns everyone into zombies. The only cure is to be within 100 yards of a game of Castles of Burgundy. That'll be the sequel - CAH: The Castles of Burgundy.

Who's going to play the Robber?

I can't wait to see a montage of the characters making a road from trees and bricks.

Major act II conflict- they can't get any grain and so they aren't able to make a city.

I'm sure the tag line is already "wood for sheep".

Why do I feel like this could be a leading role for Josh Gad?

Maybe if it is a success we can finally see Bohnanza on the screen.

I suppose I could see a documentary short about people playing Settlers. An old friend of mine used to host an annual Settlers tournament at his house every April 20th. Why April 20th? Because 420 and this was a game that even seriously stoned people could play. He inherited an old Victorian house from his grandmother, so there was plenty of space for multiple games of Catan at the same time. And since he often had people at his house smoking dope, he had installed security cameras about the exterior of the house to watch for cops. I stayed there during GenCon 2003, and it was a large house-sized version of a mancave.

They should hire Christopher Guest to direct a mockumentary about a big Catan tournament. Even if it's more like Mascots or For Your Consideration rather than Waiting for Guffman or Best in Show, it would still be better than whatever garbage they're cooking up.

What are you talking about; thus could be as good as Battleship.

Give them a break. It's this or rebooting Spider Man again.

I never saw the Battleship movie, because I assumed it was just a bunch of setup for someone to shout out gloriously "You Sunk My Battleship!"

This Settlers movie will probably be a bunch of setup for someone to shout out "Wood For Sheep!"

Wasn't the rights to a Tetris movie bought up some years ago?

I doubt either of these it the silver screen.

I hope there is a table-flipping scene.

Michael Barnes wrote:

What are you talking about; thus could be as good as Battleship.

Shamefully enough, I've actually watched Battleship. It was horrible. But it did have one good moment, where the alien antiship weapon looked like giant Battleship pegs. *clank* *clank* *clank* *clank* - four pegs in the battleship, and it blows up and sinks. I got a laugh out of that.

It wouldn't surprise me if Sony already has a generic medieval script and they're just looking to put the Catan logo on it. Product identity can go a long way.

Whil Wheaton is pulling out all the stops.

"Fools! I was born for this role!"

Puts on sheep costume.

Maybe they can get Zak Snyder to direct the Settlers movie, so it will be dark as fuck. And they could get Damon Lindelof to write the script, in case the movie can be elevated by hipster nonsense.