Secret Satan 2015 Results! Post them here!

Looks like I am the first to receive something, or post. This was a truly dastardly box! I am really horrified and believe it or not, actually a bit angry. No, really. See the images and read on to find out why!


Now listen, for some stupid ass reason imgur won't let me rotate these, so some are sideways, and if I have to suffer then so do all of you.

This is how the box came shipped. This 17 pound god damn mostrosity.


Thanks for the warning. Good thing my 4-year-old son is at my inlaws visiting before they go back to Afghanistan.


Haha, hahaha, I'm a douche. Whatever, I make bitches smell clean.


I'm not very good with directions, but I'll listen just this once.


Hey hey hey, I've been eyeing this game since it came out. Thanks for sending me. . . JUST THE BOARDS!? Oh fuck you Satan. I'm praying to our lord and savior Jesus Christ TWICE tonight!


Alrighty.


I mean, yeah I guess that would be pretty stupid.


What the actual fuck is this nonsense?


Ok, cool. If I EVER get any of the figures or cards or you know, THE GAME, I'll know how to play. May as well have sent me a url to read them online as useless as this is.


Ok, my first really cool item in here. I've actually been wanting to try out DUST TACTICS for a few years. Been meaning to get the core set, but I just haven't pulled the trigger. This book actually has really nice art, and I feel motivated to read it over. Can anyone tell me if I read this, then get the core set if I can play the game out of the box then?


Bitch, please, this is not a neck beard.


Signing up for this event is definitely on the list!


I've been known to dumpster dive from time to time. . .


I looked inside and it's not even the actual game. It's some weak sauce PROTOTYPE REVIEW COPY. WITH STICKERS ON PLASTIC CUBES FOR THE DICE!!!


Oh man! The rest of the pieces for Arena of the Planeswalkers!!!!!!!!!!! I can finally play this game!!!!!! I'm so excited, and I have a few friends who have been looking forward to trying it. I'll be bringing this to a games night this Thursday if my buddy's wife doesn't have her baby by then. There's another wrapped box at the bottom, that must be the box to hold this awesome new Magic game I've wanted for so long.
Seriously, thank you.


Um, no? Crokinole? What the fuck is that? Oh yeah, there's a bunch of red discs in that bag. I just chose to photograph the dick.


Hey hey, battle! Yes! This is the box! Can't wait to battle my friends across the Magic planes!!


Fuuuuuuuck you.


I mean, what is this actually? lol


Please be Matt's game please be Matt's game. . .


Nope! At least I will be able to wake up in the morning, however!


Hey, this was really cool and I'm going to take a good gander at these games. Can I have my damn box now for this thing?

Thank you!!

RE: Dust
www.dustwarfare.com/Gaming/tabid/90/entryid/238/Default.aspx

Now that was epic. Your Satan truly has a flair for the dramatic. He built a sense of suspense and narrative there. And I never thought I'd say that he has "flair" at all.

The bar is set, folks. I'm sure at least one of y'all looked over at the shitty little box of thrift store outcasts you're about to ship and felt a twinge of guilt. Or inferiority.

I. AM. LEGION.

Secret Satan wrote: I. AM. LEGION.

I. AM...... WILLING TO PAYPAL YOU TO SHIP THE MAGIC BOX!!

Man, thanks a ton for this. Was so much fun opening.

While Santa would accommodate you, despite you being on his Bad List, I am not he.

The only box you'll be getting from me in the future is for Preparation H, to soothe your sore ass.

I think I got my first box in but I am under orders not to open it till another box arrives next week. I did have to disobey orders and touch said first box to get it over to my game room.

Damn, someone butchered a vintage HeroQuest board. My 13 year-old self is crying somewhere inside.

Edit: Forget it, on closer inspection it's only Dragon Quest. Good riddance.

Wow! That was totally fun and Epic indeed! It's awesome to lurk around seeing amazing stuff happen here!

Don't forget to post your photos!

Seems like we should have more than 1 posted "gift" by now...

Agreed. Are the gifts THAT shameful people? Come on.

After multiple failures of my previous targets to post the contents of their packages, all recipients should know that I have thoroughly documented my gift for posting and public shaming should it be neglected.

As I recall, wasn't last year also pretty light on pictures as well? People are getting lax.

Still no word from Satan on my package. I don't know whether to be relieved or disappointed.