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Old Guys: Are You Angry?
- Cranberries
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- Black Barney
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It sounds like it's stress causing it, Craniac.
I'm not angry, but going through a recent custody battle in court (even though I won), i find myself starting down a path where I might be hating women. i really hope that's not happening. I like girls a ton, but i'm really hating family law. REALLY hating it.
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- Cranberries
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Whatever the case, the first step is to recognize it and admit it's happening. Next is dealing with it. I think you guys have hit on some good ways to deal with it. On top of exercise and yoga/meditation, my doctor has also advocated using supplements like Vitamin D and a multivitamin. I think getting therapy is also good. I had a lot of anxiety after college and getting therapy helped then. Also, find something to do where you can hang out with likeminded folks just so you can get away from all the anxiety triggers. It's more important that you're social with people you enjoy hanging out with than what you actually do each time.
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- SuperflyPete
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I think getting sick kind of re-established my morality and acceptance that life is a transient state. I've always sought to be a better guy today than yesterday and leave the world a better place tomorrow than today, but now I'm realizing that it's more the details that count...the touching individual lives versus making big impacts.
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- Jackwraith
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I will say that I think one of the key moments was a few years back. I've had depression issues all my life. It just comes on, not generated by anything in particular. But I'd hit a really low point in 2011 when I was unemployed and living alone, so I finally took my endocrinologist's advice and met up with a friend of his who's a pro therapist but was seeing me on the side (pro bono, as it were.) At one point, I was describing a situation to her and my emotional reaction to that situation and she said:
"And what does that make you think about?"
I replied: "The first thing that comes to mind is: weakness."
She said: "The first thing that comes to my mind is: human."
That was a real light bulb moment to me. It seems so damn simple, but it took someone saying it in a professional context, I guess, for me to really get it. I just relaxed a lot more about me and about those around me and I think it's made life better. The depression is still there and I remain my own worst critic at all times, but I'm not taking it out on people around me, which makes life a lot smoother.
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That "episode" in my life isn't completely erased from me, though. It added a level of remove between me and my lived existence in a way that I find hard to describe. Like it created a kind of sad spectator seat that wasn't there before. My wife beat breast cancer last year, so a lot of that existential weirdness faded into the background under immediate necessity. There's also nothing like actual terror and fatigue to squeeze out all of the other navel-gazey anxiety for awhile. But... it's creeping up again, now that things have settled. I think it's fine, and life has pretty much beaten it into me that this unease is something I need to either develop strategies for or crumple under it. I'm seeing several friends my age succumb to it with alcohol, straining against spousal relationships, etc, etc. So I'm doubling down on the mind-body awareness thing and looking into meditation and maybe another round of therapy.
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Black Barney wrote: my doctor says yoga or mindfullness meditation. They are the only two things he recommends for this. he says exercise is really important too.
.
Started exercising on a more regular basis about a year ago. Find myself falling asleep earlier and more naturally at night. Has done a lot good for my mental well being as well as my physical well being. Highly recommended.
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- SuperflyPete
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- Cranberries
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the_jake_1973 wrote: Kayaking is one of the most relaxing outdoor activities I've done. I am always trying to convince my friends to pony up for a craft. There is something about being on a the river and connected to the water that does wonders.
That's funny because we just bought a well-reviewed Pelican 100 and my wife has taken it out. Now she can't lift her arms.
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craniac wrote:
the_jake_1973 wrote: Kayaking is one of the most relaxing outdoor activities I've done. I am always trying to convince my friends to pony up for a craft. There is something about being on a the river and connected to the water that does wonders.
That's funny because we just bought a well-reviewed Pelican 100 and my wife has taken it out. Now she can't lift her arms.
Was she on a lake or river? I've had some very good workouts when doing Lake kayaking. You may also think about getting a longer kayak as they track better and require less course correction. Look into Jackson models. The seating system is very comfortable for long paddles.
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You guys should take up running. Not racing, but running.
* low buy-in
* can do it as a family any evening/morning/time available. simply go out to the middle school track for starters
* try to do one organized event a month as a family goal
* run events usually offer 1K, 3K, 5K, 10K, 'Fun Runs' the same day so all family members can have a level they participate in.
* add travel to it. You're in Utah, right? Go out of state, or across state, from time to time to a race. then it becomes a mini-vacation as well
* it's completely collaborative and supportive. Unlike co-op boardgames, which can definitely lead to arguments, there's nothing to argue about here. everyone cheers each other on.
* stay with a routine and it's something the kids will end up having built into their lifestyle and take with them when they leave the house
* clearly exercise is beneficial to everyone, so benefits all around
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- Cranberries
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the_jake_1973 wrote:
craniac wrote:
the_jake_1973 wrote: Kayaking is one of the most relaxing outdoor activities I've done. I am always trying to convince my friends to pony up for a craft. There is something about being on a the river and connected to the water that does wonders.
That's funny because we just bought a well-reviewed Pelican 100 and my wife has taken it out. Now she can't lift her arms.
Was she on a lake or river? I've had some very good workouts when doing Lake kayaking. You may also think about getting a longer kayak as they track better and require less course correction. Look into Jackson models. The seating system is very comfortable for long paddles.
She was on Utah lake. Her arms are just sore because she hasn't worked out her upper body in four years!
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