Name My Dog

My buddy has a dog that had a huge litter. Tiny little bastards. He was going to get rid of them in the lake, so we took one. We're bottle feeding it, having to rub a cotton ball on his junk to make him shit, all that baby dog jazz. We have a box with a heating pad in it and blankets because, apparently, dogs can't regulate their heat like human babies can't.

SO...we're in the naming process. And I need some advice:

Colonel Sanders (he has a white goatee, no shit)
Rear Admiral Doobmeyer Puffington (Doobie for short)
Vincent Vega (our other dog's name is Samuel L Jackson, mostly because mama thought Jules Winnfield would be seen as racist (he's a black dog)
Marcellus Wallace, Jr. (you can see a trend...)
Poopsmurf (my 8 year old's choice)
Soulpatch Action Jackson (Patch for short)
Shreddy Mercury

Poopsmurf is the only one that is actually good in that list.

Doobie isn't bad, actually.

Well duh, he should be named Black Barney.

Patch is good. Personally I'd choose Norton. I love the name Norton for black dogs and it's a blast to yell it out loud when you're looking for your dog. You might have to work on your Jackie Gleason impersonation to pull it off though.

Why not name him Donald?

What happened to the other puppies?

Barnes is right, but Barney is an even better name. Good choice.

Norton and Donald are both really good too

I'd hold fire until you get a read on his personality, the best names fit the character. Black Barney is pretty good though.

I'm friends with a geeky married couple that named their dog Timecop, after a certain Jean-Claude Van Damme movie.

I'm going to name my next dog That's Stupid after them

If he was a Great Dane and they named him Jean-Claude Van Dane that would be good...

And yeah, when the personality hits we'll make a final decision. Right now all he does is squirm and try to eat my beard.

Some of the other puppies were adopted and unadopted. It's a LOT of work, so I get why. There's maybe 9 of these micro puppies and the mother is too old to feed them all. So, some will probably die.