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Your Backup Hobby
Gary Sax wrote: I decided to zig instead of zag and asked most of my family for gifts related to trying to take up fly fishing by myself. Intimidating. My greatest personal fear is fucking up and looking like an idiot at stuff, in general, so this will be a good experience from a personal growth perspective. I just have to go out there and fuck up which requires me really being assertive.
Do things you are terrible at. If you don’t, you miss out on so much fun in life.
Also, remember that people love giving advice and helping newbies. Most hobbies aren’t full of gatekeepers, the way nerd hobbies are. If someone who knows what they are doing sees you fuck up, they won’t think that you are an idiot, they will see it as an opportunity to help and teach and maybe make a new friend.
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Shellhead wrote: So I finally broke down and bought some very inexpensive home exercise gear: a set of resistance bands and handles. Less than $40, and usable for dozens of different exercises.
Craigslist is often a great place to get cheap barely-used exercise equipment, if you're looking for anything else.
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ubarose wrote:
Gary Sax wrote: I decided to zig instead of zag and asked most of my family for gifts related to trying to take up fly fishing by myself. Intimidating. My greatest personal fear is fucking up and looking like an idiot at stuff, in general, so this will be a good experience from a personal growth perspective. I just have to go out there and fuck up which requires me really being assertive.
Do things you are terrible at. If you don’t, you miss out on so much fun in life.
Also, remember that people love giving advice and helping newbies. Most hobbies aren’t full of gatekeepers, the way nerd hobbies are. If someone who knows what they are doing sees you fuck up, they won’t think that you are an idiot, they will see it as an opportunity to help and teach and maybe make a new friend.
Kurt Vonnegut:
When I was 15, I spent a month working on an archeological dig. I was talking to one of the archeologists one day during our lunch break and he asked those kinds of “getting to know you” questions you ask young people: Do you play sports? What’s your favorite subject? And I told him, no I don’t play any sports. I do theater, I’m in choir, I play the violin and piano, I used to take art classes.
And he went WOW. That’s amazing! And I said, “Oh no, but I’m not any good at ANY of them.”
And he said something then that I will never forget and which absolutely blew my mind because no one had ever said anything like it to me before: “I don’t think being good at things is the point of doing them. I think you’ve got all these wonderful experiences with different skills, and that all teaches you things and makes you an interesting person, no matter how well you do them.”
And that honestly changed my life. Because I went from a failure, someone who hadn’t been talented enough at anything to excel, to someone who did things because I enjoyed them. I had been raised in such an achievement-oriented environment, so inundated with the myth of Talent, that I thought it was only worth doing things if you could “Win” at them.
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That's awesome! Fly fishing is a very niche thing up here because of the abundance of open water, but there are streams and rivers (especially in the Driftless region of SE Minnesota) where it makes sense. A couple weeks ago a friend came up to Monticello with me to fish the Mississippi with waders where there's a nice shallow portion at a bend in the river with good slack water. He caught a few smallies on his fly rod, which looked insanely fun because the thing just doubles over like a floppy noodle even on relatively small fish. Then he caught a couple walleyes with it too. Last week he caught a baby muskie on Lake Minnetonka with it fishing from shore, what a hoot that must have been.Gary Sax wrote: I decided to zig instead of zag and asked most of my family for gifts related to trying to take up fly fishing by myself. Intimidating.
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Yeah, definitely, I'd probably try some other style if I lived elsewhere... but we have an abundance of small streams near me (e.g. Oak Creek in Sedona), so that is what I'm most likely to do. I'm even buying a smaller rod than most people recommend as "default" because the streams I'm going to try to fish on are pretty tiny spring fed canyon rivers. I plan on catching no fish but spending some time out in some beautiful riparian canyons.
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Gary Sax wrote: I decided to zig instead of zag and asked most of my family for gifts related to trying to take up fly fishing by myself. Intimidating. My greatest personal fear is fucking up and looking like an idiot at stuff, in general, so this will be a good experience from a personal growth perspective. I just have to go out there and fuck up which requires me really being assertive.
One of the nice things about fly fishing is that you're generally standing around in a river by yourself, so if you fuck up there's not much of an audience.
Good on you for picking up something new.
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Shellhead wrote:
Kurt Vonnegut:
“I don’t think being good at things is the point of doing them. I think you’ve got all these wonderful experiences with different skills, and that all teaches you things and makes you an interesting person, no matter how well you do them.”
And that honestly changed my life. Because I went from a failure, someone who hadn’t been talented enough at anything to excel, to someone who did things because I enjoyed them. I had been raised in such an achievement-oriented environment, so inundated with the myth of Talent, that I thought it was only worth doing things if you could “Win” at them.
Thanks shellhead. I say similar things to kids where I teach all all the time - sometimes feels like beating your head against a wall, they are so risk averse and achievement oriented. I like to think it gets through sometimes!
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mc wrote:
Shellhead wrote:
Kurt Vonnegut:
“I don’t think being good at things is the point of doing them. I think you’ve got all these wonderful experiences with different skills, and that all teaches you things and makes you an interesting person, no matter how well you do them.”
And that honestly changed my life. Because I went from a failure, someone who hadn’t been talented enough at anything to excel, to someone who did things because I enjoyed them. I had been raised in such an achievement-oriented environment, so inundated with the myth of Talent, that I thought it was only worth doing things if you could “Win” at them.
Thanks shellhead. I say similar things to kids where I teach all all the time - sometimes feels like beating your head against a wall, they are so risk averse and achievement oriented. I like to think it gets through sometimes!
That Vonnegut quote made an impact on me, too, and I wish that I had come across it when I was still a teenager. Fortunately, my parents pushed me to try a lot of things that I wouldn't have sought out on my own, but my risk aversion made it stressful at times. Since college, I have become much more open to new experiences, and much less worried about failure.
For example, when I first moved back to Minnesota, I was carpooling to work with my cousin since we both worked downtown. One night after work, she informed me that we were going to the Metrodome (the previous Minnesota Vikings stadium) instead of heading right home, because they were letting people rollerblade indoors on the smooth concrete concourse surrounding the stadium seating. I had never rollerbladed, ever, and I hadn't gone ice skating since I was 6 years old. So I knew that I was going to be falling down. But it seemed possible that it could also be fun and maybe I would make some new friends. I fell down a lot, and my buttocks hurt for a couple of days afterwards. But I did learn how to rollerblade and it was fun at times, even if I never did master the stopping part.
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I really liked learning the ins & outs of different businesses and types of work, but for a long time I worried that it made me a "Jack of all trades, master of none." I think in the long run it helped me become more empathetic to wage workers, plus there are lessons & skills I learned from each of those jobs that applied to other areas of life.
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Still a lot of fun. I’m not terribly good at any of them and not seeking mastery either, but it’s nice just to keep my hands active.
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Now if only my knee would heal, I'm so fucking over this 9 months of pain whenever I hike.
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I honestly would be surprised if anyone here dug that kind of music (mostly dub and house), but it's supposed to uplift spirits and we can never have enough of that, amiright?
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