Fear & Princesses in Indianapolis

I'm at the Hilton. The motherfucking Hilton. But I'm tired and this picnic basket is really heavy no matter how cute it is. Where the fuck is JC? I need to rapidly deploy more alcohol into my system and despite the words coming out of my phone, he's definitely not in the goddamned lobby. What? There are TWO HILTONS in Indianapolis? Well oh la la motherfuckers, now can you tell me how to get to the proper Hilton then?

So far the journey to GenCon had been a total shit show. Sure, I'll take a free ride from NY to Indy... Operating on two hours of shitty sleep on a sofa that's seen better days, I was crammed into the backseat of a minivan stuffed full of weird smelly dudes that take up too much space. There was the notable exception of Anna Cosplay, poor sweet beautiful Anna, but that was cold comfort when I couldn't feel my legs for most of Pennsylvania. She did have the presence of mind to start up some filthy sex talk somewhere outside of Buffalo which served to stave off the crushing depression one feels driving around outside a place like Buffalo. Mostly what it did was give a bunch of young dudes awkward boners and some serious life questions. Somewhere in Indiana Pussywillow got pulled over doing like 90 in a 55. We're fucked we all thought. Hopefully he'll be out of jail in time for us to get him on the way back!