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Michael Barnes Proudly Presents F:AT SECRET SATAN 2012!

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There Will Be Games

YES YES Y'ALL, it's time for the holladaze and that means that it's also time for one of F:AT's most cherished and beloved traditions- "Let's See How Badly Barnes Can Screw Up Matching Up Two Names With Addresses On A List". Ho ho ho! No, that's not what it's called- it's SECRET SATAN 2012!

Veterans of past Secret Satan operations know the drill. You send me your name and address, I devilishly and sometimes intentionally match you up with another F:AT. You send them random junk. Whatever you want. NO WISH LISTS, NO DOE-EYED HOPING THAT SOMEBODY SENDS YOU THE GAME OF YOUR DREAMS. You'll be lucky if Frank Branham doesn't send you some bottom-of-the-barrel game about gerbil husbandry in a box peanutted with cream pull candy, a Kentuckian atrocity. The fun part is that it's entirely on your conscience if you decide to send somebody a bunch of nonsense...or, you can be someone's Christmas angel and send them an actually decent game. And there's always, always the possibility that you'll get the copy of Fucking Reef Encounter that we circulate among us.

This is intended to be fun, frivolous, and kind of dumb so I need good sports on board who aren't going to get miffed when they ship out their copy of Full Metal Planete and get some random Tanga Trash and a stack of 1980s Playboys from their Secret Satan. Every year I do manage to screw up at least one pair-up. So if it happens, we'll sort it out and make sure you get some kind of random junk. Space Ghost, your SS from last year had his package returned twice. This year, you may get two things. See, I make everyone happy in the end.

So what you need to do if you want to participate is to PM me your name and address along with WHERE you will ship to. US only, worldwide, Europe only, Australia only, whatever. Be clear about it, because otherwise you might be in California and sending something to Jur over in Dutchland, stuck with a $5000 shipping bill. .So be clear whether you are a patriot or an imperialist.

I need everybody's names by MONDAY, NOVEMBER 26. There's no deadline on shipping, but let's try to get everyone their misbegotten present by December 24th in time to ruin the holiday.

Oh, and remember- it is REQUIRED that you post descriptions and/or photos of your loot in the F:AT SECRET SATAN 2012 thread in our forums so we can point and laugh.

There Will Be Games
Michael Barnes (He/Him)
Senior Board Game Reviews Editor

Sometime in the early 1980s, MichaelBarnes’ parents thought it would be a good idea to buy him a board game to keep him busy with some friends during one of those high-pressure, “free” timeshare vacations. It turned out to be a terrible idea, because the game was TSR’s Dungeon! - and the rest, as they say, is history. Michael has been involved with writing professionally about games since 2002, when he busked for store credit writing for Boulder Games’ newsletter. He has written for a number of international hobby gaming periodicals and popular Web sites. From 2004-2008, he was the co-owner of Atlanta Game Factory, a brick-and-mortar retail store. He is currently the co-founder of FortressAT.com and Nohighscores.com as well as the Editor-in-Chief of Miniature Market’s Review Corner feature. He is married with two childen and when he’s not playing some kind of game he enjoys stockpiling trivial information about music, comics and film.

Articles by Michael

Michael Barnes
Senior Board Game Reviews Editor

Articles by Michael

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