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The Worst Thing You Can Bring to Game Night
Weird Friend: What one?
Shellhead: What?
Weird Friend: What desert?
Shellhead: It doesn't make any difference what desert, it's completely hypothetical.
Weird Friend: But, how come I'd be there?
Shellhead: Maybe you're fed up. Maybe you want to be by yourself. Who knows? You look down and see a tortoise. It's crawling toward you...
Weird Friend: Tortoise? What's that?
Shellhead: [irritated by the interruptions] You know what a turtle is?
Weird Friend: Of course!
Shellhead: Same thing.
Weird Friend: I've never seen a turtle... But I understand what you mean.
Shellhead: You reach down and you flip the tortoise over on its back.
Weird Friend: Do you make up these questions, Shellhead? Or do they write 'em down for you?
Shellhead: The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping.
Weird Friend: [angry at the suggestion] What do you mean, I'm not helping?
Shellhead: I mean: you're not helping! Why is that?
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Shellhead wrote: I have sometimes wondered if my friend is an alien or an android. For example, after years of minimal dating, he suddenly started seeing several women during his last year of college, in preparation for getting married right after college. He arbitrarily picked one of those girls and got married to her at age 22. He wasn't in love with her, he just felt that it was time to be married and get ready to have some kids. They're divorced now, and he has custody of their two kids more than half the time because his ex-wife managed to make a very bad impression on the family court judge.
My friend is somehow simultaneously very courteous and yet often oblivious to routine etiquette. If he knows a given rule, like how to arrange forks and spoons at a table setting, or when to open a door for a woman, he will always follow that rule. But sometimes he will behave in a very rude manner simply because he was unaware that there was a standard for behavior for a situation. This is especially true if there is new technology involved, because he defaults to assuming that there are no behavior rules regarding technology until somebody makes them up. Yes, he was that guy texting a lot in movie theaters several years ago. He isn't stupid, he just seems unable to identify the underlying logic behind manners.
Whatever you do, don't show him Boardgamegeek. That just be validation of all this behavior.
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Shellhead wrote: I have sometimes wondered if my friend is an alien or an android. For example, after years of minimal dating, he suddenly started seeing several women during his last year of college, in preparation for getting married right after college. He arbitrarily picked one of those girls and got married to her at age 22. He wasn't in love with her, he just felt that it was time to be married and get ready to have some kids. They're divorced now, and he has custody of their two kids more than half the time because his ex-wife managed to make a very bad impression on the family court judge.
My friend is somehow simultaneously very courteous and yet often oblivious to routine etiquette. If he knows a given rule, like how to arrange forks and spoons at a table setting, or when to open a door for a woman, he will always follow that rule. But sometimes he will behave in a very rude manner simply because he was unaware that there was a standard for behavior for a situation. This is especially true if there is new technology involved, because he defaults to assuming that there are no behavior rules regarding technology until somebody makes them up. Yes, he was that guy texting a lot in movie theaters several years ago. He isn't stupid, he just seems unable to identify the underlying logic behind manners.
You are friends with Sheldon Cooper? That's awesome.
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Ancient_of_MuMu wrote:
The one person I know who is diagnosed also talks a lot and has very good grammar (as well as the obvious gifts in mathematics and computers), in spite of having a lot of trouble otherwise with social communication. I suspect there must be something about grammar to do with it having rules you learn and apply consistently that works with that sort of differently attuned mind. No idea about the talking though (though it is mainly about them, they aren't socially aware enough to ask about other's feelings/thoughts/etc).Shellhead wrote:
Ancient_of_MuMu wrote: He probably has PDD-NOS ( en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PDD-NOS ), which is Autism without some features, normally without the need to adhere to strict routines or repetitive behaviors (I know one person diagnosed with this, and almost certainly another). These people can function in society and often are brilliant in some areas so normally go undiagnosed, but really struggle in many areas requiring social interaction.
Interesting link. Hmm. It's hard to say in his case. He likes to talk, and his grammar is impeccable. He tends to make a good impression on women initially, but though he has been dating a lot since his divorce a few years ago, he hasn't had even one long-term relationship. Maybe his parents neglected his social development while pushing him to get high grades in school.
I very likely am somewhere on the Asperger's / PDD-NOS spectrum. (The current diagnostic manual is removing these as separate diagnoses, and classing them under one broad banner.)
The odd thing is that other people just fall away sometimes, like they just cease to exist. Consciously I'm aware that they are there in a vague hazy sort of way. But if they aren't talking about something I'm interested in, it is nearly impossible to feign interest--I just stop hearing them.
The tricky corollary is that I almost completely can't read any sort of body language or non-verbal communications. At a guess, people normally pick up social graces via the postures and annoyed tones of other people to work out what is good/bad/rude in a social situation. Without that feedback it does get tricky to work out the rules. It is also MUCH harder to apply them under stress, a fair bit of which comes from....social situations.
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