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Fortress of Horror 01 - The Monster Squad
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Everything you always wanted to know about werewolves but were always afraid to ask...
I grew up on the Universal Monsters. While the other boys on my street were talking up Jason and Freddy, I was tuning into AMC every Saturday afternoon to watch the black and white classics. Eventually it seemed like I had seen them all. So on one Friday afternoon sometime in the early 90s, my dad, brother and I went down to the video store in search of anything to watch besides Dracula for the 40th time. After what seemed like hours we left with The Monster Squad. Dracula, Frankenstein's monster, Wolfman, Mummy, and Gillman all in one movie and in color. My mind was blown. I must have watched that VHS tape four times that weekend, and for years my memory would go back to it. When it was finally released on DVD in 2007, I immediately went out to pick it up, desperately hoping that thing I hadn't seen in 15 years would hold up. Did it? Absolutely.
One could accuse The Monster Squad of being Goonies minus pirates minus "The Spielberg Touch" plus Monsters. They'd mostly be right, but the movie certainly has a charm all its own. Dracula has once again risen from the grave, this time he's in America to hunt down an amulet he can somehow use to take over the world, and he's bringing a who's who of the monsters from the Universal era with him. A group of kids who love classic movie monsters are drawn into things, and given their extensive knowledge on the subject, are the ones best suited to stop Drac and his minions.
Though it's clearly a love letter to the Universal pictures, this is not a Universal film, so the interpretations of the monsters needed to be a little different. Luckily they got none other than Stan Winston to reimagine them, and the character designs and effects still look really great. It's tough to follow in the footsteps of a makeup job that's as iconic and definitive as Boris Karloff's monster, but this one still works really well. The Mummy and Creature are great, too. This also falls into what I call "80's kids on an adventure" territory, complete with many of the hallmarks of that genre. They curse, one of them smokes and spies on a girl getting dressed, but the kids are pretty funny. They're also very quotable. Not only will The Monster Squad show you what happens when you try to blow Wolfman up with dynamite, but it will answer the even bigger of question of whether or not he has nards.
The Monster Squad has become a perennial favorite of mine, it's what I kicked my Halloween movie binge off with this year and I'll likely end up watching it again before the season is over. It's one of those too rare movies that are spooky and good for kids (as long as you're not prudish about a few things) and it's still a total blast for adults who enjoy that kind of Goonies adventure thing and deserves a place amongst similar, more well known movies like it. It's also on Netflix now, which seems weird to me given how hard to find it was for so many years.
Just don't call the fat kid "Fat Kid."
SCARE RATING: 1/5
OVERALL RATING: 4/5
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Anyway, I came across this movie back when it came out in '87. I remember it well...I was 13 and crushing on this girl. She had a thing for Ryan Lambert from that show Kids Incorporated. I have vivid memories of her on the school bus going on and on about this Monster Squad movie as Ryan's feature film.
She (another military brat) moved away before I had enough courage to say anything, but damn that Ryan Lambert...
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I think people's main apprehension with Monster Squad is that it's about kids. Yeah, I get it...normally that set's off a bunch of red flags. Don't let that discourage you. Like Josh said, the kids in the film are all awesome. None of them are annoying. In fact they're all doing cool shit. Every single one of them is awesome. When I was younger I wanted to be exactly like them. They had this awesome tree-house full of Universal Monster shit. A secret club about monsters. A bitchin 80s style montage where they got shit done...damn, my childhood sucked compared to theirs!
With this being on Netflix now there is no excuse not to watch this. If you grew up loving all of the Universe Movie Monsters I consider Monster Squad REQUIRED VIEWING! It's is one of my all time favorites and it's one of the few great horror films that is good for all ages. I watched it when I was like 6-7 years old and it made me a monster fan for life.
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Rock until you drop. Dance until your feet fall off.
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- Michael Barnes
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It was IMPOSSIBLE to see for a long time...I actually saw it in the theater, but I don't know if I've ever seen it completely since then. I saw it on Netflix, maybe if I can get out of this "must watch all Doctor Who" thing I'm in I'll revisit it.
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SebastianBludd wrote: I've been trying to think of something Halloween-y to watch...
Another great option is Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein. I actually rate this as a top 3 Universal Monster film. Glenn Strange does a good job as The Monster, but Lon Chaney, Jr and Bela Lugosi return to the roles that made them household names. The film is better than you would expect it to be and can pass for younger ages than Monster Squad if there's any concern there.
When I taught, I used to show this to my students every year around Halloween.
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bfkiller wrote: Sorta like how The Mummy is shitty Raiders of the Lost Ark.
I'd say The Mummy (first one) is on par with, if not better than, the comic caper that is The Last Crusade though and definitely better than that Crystal Skull film.
But then, I actually enjoy The Mummy.
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- ChristopherMD
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I really really don't like this kind of movie. I hate The Goonies. I dislike Stand By Me. The whole gang of kids thing in general.
Yeah, I know, makes me sort of odd man out.
I liked the article though and look forward to reading the next one.
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I guess it used toget some solid rotation on HBO back in the day, which was probably the most exposure it got. There was only one print run of the VHS, which would explain the insane prices I used to see it going for on eBay before it got a DVD release.
I actually think the pacing in Monster Squad is better than that in Goonies. I find Goonies to trail off in the middle until it picks back up once they get to the pirate ship. Monster Squad doesnt really have that problem. The kid calling in the army is kinda dumb though.
And for what it's worth, I think the first Mummy movie rules. I actually have a harder time getting through the Karloff original.
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Josh Look wrote: And for what it's worth, I think the first Mummy movie rules. I actually have a harder time getting through the Karloff original.
I don't like Brendan Fraser at all, and yet he doesn't bother me in the Mummy films. While it seems like it shouldn't work, his performance manages to pull off a character that splits the difference between Indiana Jones and Jack Burton. I prefer the second movie (but I like both of them) and if they'd gone with more practical effects instead of shit CGI I'd consider them excellent adventure movies rather than merely good.
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