Your Halloween Costume

That costume should elicit outrage. What would you expect?

Black Barney wrote: Emily has asked that daddy goes as a dragon.

Jeez...that's a tall order. Any tips?

Er, sorry. Thought you said her name was Emilia.

The “Sexy Handmaid” thing is just about the lowest Halloween has sunk. That is basically dressing up as an institutionally, serially raped woman used by men for breeding purposes. It may be fictional, but it is not that much less offensive than dressing up as a concentration camp victim. Would you go to the Halloween party in a concentration camp outfit but “sexed up with fishnets and heels? If you would, you are a pretty shit human.

I always joke about the “Sexy” costumes because they are just in spectacularly bad taste, sometimes utterly clueless (“Sexy Sherlock Holmes”) or even shockingly disgusting (“Sexy Nemo”). But this is politically vulgar, screamingly sexist, and utterly vile.

Also note that I find it offensive at Dragon Con or wherever when men do the Handmaid costume. But I think this is worse because it just really shows how ingrained the kinds of sexist thought that is in the show are IRL.

I’m not able or willing to clean the vomit from last years’ cheap raccoon costume from some cartoon. Which is fine, it looked like a discount fursuit.

I’ll probably pick up whatever is cheap at the costume store because it will probably end up ruined by the end of the night again. If the costume sucks, I’ll add my big velociraptor mask and it will be good.

Last year, I was hoping to go to a party or the goth club, wearing a Negative Man costume. I got the jacket, only a more reasonable length, and the turtleneck and pants were easy. But I experimented with the gauze bandages for the head, and it was too fiddly and unstable. In the end, I didn't go out anyway because Covid was beginning to surge again.

This year, I saw the perfect mask for my Negative Man costume. It is actually intended to be a mask for a Moon Knight costume, a variant costume where he looks partially mummified. I bought that, plus some aerodynamic sunglasses with a head strap. But while I was shopping online for those items, I saw a really affordable 3D printed Moon Knight hoodie, so I bought that along with some white sweat pants. So I have two costume options now, especially if I decide to do more than one Halloween event that weekend.

The mask is actually a latex/resin helmet, so I am a little anxious about whether it will work for me. If it's too tight for my big head, I made need to remove some or all of the foam lining, and possible open up a slit in the back of the neck of the mask. Breathability is also a real concern, since this mask doesn't have a mouth opening and I will be dancing if I go to the goth bar. The mask is supposed to arrive today. Besides checking for fit, I will attempt to go for a jog tonight while wearing the mask, to verify that I can breathe in it. If it really isn't going to work, than I will buy a white balaclava and paint a phosphorescent crescent moon on the forehead.

The Moon Knight hoodie and sweats already arrived and fit great. While white spandex pants would be more accurate, spandex doesn't breathe and doesn't keep you warm, both problematic for a Halloween in Minnesota. I still need to pick up some cheap white shoes for the costume.

I'm not so sure about the Negative Man costume now. Putting the sunglass goggles on over the mask might cut off my main source of oxygen, plus sunglasses are problematic in a low-light setting. The flight jacket is fur-lined, so probably too warm for a dance floor situation, though maybe okay for just a party situation. The goggles are a snug fit on my unadorned head, but the strap is too short stretch around a mask on my head. Will need to find a way to replace that strap.

Ugh, I am so disappointed right now. The Moon Knight helmet looks really cool and is solidly constructed from a single block of hard epoxy resin. And it doesn't come even remotely close to fitting. I have a slightly larger than normal head, but I can't get this mask more than 25% onto my head, even after tearing out the generous and well-placed foam padding. Returning it is not ideal because it shipped from China and the return policy requires me to pay return shipping. There was only one size available anyway. Since I will be wearing a hood over this mask, it is totally acceptable to cut off the back of the helmet, since nobody will see that side of my head anyway.

Plan B is to use a hand saw to cut off the entire back 1/3 of the helmet, then add an elastic strap to keep it on. Maybe the back 1/2 of the helmet.

Plan C is to get a white balaclava and wear that instead. Might go this route anyway, if sawing is too much of a hassle.

Plan D is to just wear the hoodie and leave my face bare. I don't normally wear a Halloween costume with a mask anyway.

Plan E is to wear one of my previous Halloween costumes instead.

Went to a killer Halloween party last night. This guy hosts it in his barn, there is a band, tons of food, he even has security staff, it's really over the top. I went as Agent 47. I was pleasantly surprised at how many people knew who I was.

I can't bring myself to butcher that awesome Moon Knight helmet, so it's just going to be a odd decoration in my home. I had a friend over yesterday who was able to put it on, though he had a bit of trouble getting it off again. He is two inches shorter than me and apparently has a smaller head. After trying some other options, I found a decent Moon Knight latex mask that will fight nicely under my Moon Knight hoodie and cover just my face. No breathing hole at the mouth, but just enough slack in the fit to offer some air flow. The rest of the costume will be white jogging pants, white socks, white sneakers, and a white cape. That will be my Saturday-night-before-Halloween-at-the-goth-club-costume.

Moon Knight mask: m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61PT8uP3DPL._AC_UX569_.jpg

Moon Knight hoodie: m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61J0u-ZHmkL._AC_UX569_.jpg

I also got an anticipated invite to a party the Friday before Halloween. The hosts and I are all big fans of the Doom Patrol show on HBO, so I am going as Negative Man. I started assembling this costume more than a year ago. I now have the approximate versions of every part of the outfit except the mask, and have settled on drawing the bandage lines onto an all-white balaclava to simulate the invisible man look.

Negative Man: tinyurl.com/bdhxpffm

I pulled off both costumes okay this year, Negative Man on Friday night and Moon Knight on Saturday night. Now let's see if I can figure out how to attach files here. Update: No, I can't figure out how to attach files here. The insert button doesn't insert anything, and I can't hit the submit button either because it remains grayed out.

I have a costume that I've had for some thirty years that I occasionally have worn to new jobs, but also because it functions well in wind and rain of the sort we still sometimes get in Michigan around this time of year (like today.) It's a massive, black, hooded robe with extended sleeves (as in, extension that can sweep the floor of wherever you're walking.) It's kind of a Dementor-style look for the HP fans among you. I wear it with long, black opera gloves to cover my hands and a pair of black deerskin boots and a black "faceless" mask (e.g. you can see but no one can see your face) and a couple lengths of chain that clink when I move and my old, oaken walking staff. It gives me that general "shade of darkness"-type look. But I can still sit at my desk with it and everyone gets a kick out of the theatrics.

I wore it for the first time in the early 90s when a friend ran one of those temporary Halloween shops in a local mall. I'd stand up at the front and pretend to be a statue and scare the shit out of the occasional person who rolled up thinking it looked like a cool mannequin. One even touched my face ("It's... warm?") before almost jumping out of his skin when I lunged at him. I still have a hardcopy picture of me with the three-year-old child (now a woman in her 30s, hopefully) who came in with her parents in a little devil costume and immediately rolled up to the hulking, black spectre, grabbed my hand, smiled brightly, and said: "Hi!" Should scan that one of these days.

Shellhead wrote: I pulled off both costumes okay this year, Negative Man on Friday night and Moon Knight on Saturday night. Now let's see if I can figure out how to attach files here. Update: No, I can't figure out how to attach files here. The insert button doesn't insert anything, and I can't hit the submit button either because it remains grayed out.

I just tweet a picture then link to the tweet.

Since The Boy is 'dulting, and we really don't have that many kids in our subdivision anymore, we decided to watch Halloween movies.

However, at work we have a Halloween party every year, and every year I go as the same thing.

1 Label

1 Printer

1 Microsoft Word program and Chiller font

1 Text for label: "THE GUY IN THE HORROR MOVIE WHO EVERYONE KNOWS WILL GET KILLED."

Every year one of the managing partners MC's the party with joke gifts. He came up to me and asked what my costume was. When I explained it to him, the whole room started laughing. I said, "Look at me. Do you honestly think I'd survive a horror movie?" More laughter.

My gift? A shower cap from the Mandarin Hotel.