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Secret Satan 2017 - "Gifts" Received List
- Secret Satan
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Upon opening the box, the first thing I see is a haggard-looking DVD copy of Die Hard 2, along with some reading material: a one volume collection of Warhammer fantasy stories and a collected X-Men story, Age of X.
Next out of the box is Mystics of Midgard, an expansion for Blood Rage, a game I don't own. Upon opening the box, however, I discover that the minis are missing and that only the foreign language components remain. Also, the box contains this:
Next up is Mining Maniac, a game I've never heard of, from X-Axis Production, a Hong Kong-based publisher I've never heard of:
Inside Mining Maniac is a letter from the publisher requesting that if the game is found to be interesting, to "spread the words." Apparently Satan found the game so interesting he decided to spread the game itself.
Wait, the next game in the box is ... Twilight Struggle?! Hmm, I'm suspicious. Inside the box appears to be a complete copy, but who knows. Perhaps Satan lost a component or two and now only the godless commies can win. We'll see.
Underneath Twilight Struggle is a still-in-shrink copy of Liguria from Queen Games:
I'm not familiar with Liguria, but upon reading the copy on the back what do I see? "Merchants" (check). "Prestige points" (check). Wooden cubes (check). I also see this enticing come on:
Hmmm, I think I'm starting to understand why Satan left this unopened.
Finally, Satan has bestowed upon me a wonderful piece of Ameritrash:
Thanks, Satan!
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- san il defanso
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- Black Barney
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- Michael Barnes
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Anyway...the buck bait...wow. That is some next leve Sataning right there.
Mining Maniac...ha ha! Spread the words!
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- SuperflyPete
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Trust me, I’ve done the research.
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- Black Barney
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- SuperflyPete
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I arrived home to confirm this part not to be true. The kids were safe.
However Satan was not done with me, behold:
1 Grenadier War Mammoth mini(unassembled)
2. A novel in German
3. Slurm can coozies
4. Janet Jones exercise video
5.Griffin mini
6.1/4 tube of super glue
7.Roman numeral dice set
8. Dental floss
9. Dr Who key chain
10. 2 expansion for games I don't own- Lost Cities and Clank
Last but not least the Dark One promised me shelf toads, and he delivered:
1. Lost Cities the Boardgame
2. Homeland
All in all, I consider myself lucky to have gotten off so easily. Thank you Satan!
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- Secret Satan
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I felt a weird sort of kindness flooding me. You deserve less.
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- Michael Barnes
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Secret Satan wrote: It's not a novel, it's German Erotica. Mein Schwanz ist grosse!
I felt a weird sort of kindness flooding me. You deserve less.
Und jetzt geh ich spritzen!
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- Secret Satan
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- san il defanso
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- Michael Barnes
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This is not supposed to happen.
I will dutifully report as expected immediately following an inquiry as to what went wrong with Comp-U-Tron this year.
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