What POSITIVE CHANGES are you making in your life?

One of the reasons I bought a mtn vs road bike was due to the desire to avoid being collateral damage from an inattentive driver. The peace and quiet of the woods is an added bonus.

Yeah. I learned long ago that I don't like riding in traffic. Bike riding should be relaxing and fun not stressing me out. Especially outside the city where the assholes driving tanks exist in greater numbers. Bike paths and rail trails for me.

I grew up riding a bike everywhere until I went off to college. I walked everywhere on campus, but drove everywhere else. More than a decade after I finished college, a friend was moving away and selling most of his stuff. He sold me a decent bike at a really cheap price, and it had an easily detached front tire that made it easy to store. The next time that I had to get a major car repair, I put the bike in the trunk, took the car in to the mechanic and then rode the bike home. Then I rode the bike back when my car was ready.

I never rode that bike again, and eventually gave it to a friend. The bike was fine, but I found it unbearably stressful riding it on city streets. The passing vehicles either came too close or swerved wide into opposing traffic. And I never really noticed that I lived in a really hilly area until that day. Once in a while, I see someone riding a bike in a park and it seems like a nice thing to do, but not in the street.

Our plans for moving somewhere warmer this year are moving forward. We are making the move to central Florida to both leave the ghastly snow behind and be closer to my wife's dad. Apropos of biking, I'm looking forward to being able to bike year-round rather than being stuck on a trainer for 5 months. Hopefully more opportunities for triathlons that aren't in sub 70 degree water.

So it looks like my wife and I are splitting up. We've been in a bad place for a long time and I think we're both just tired. It's fairly amicable, but of course there's a lot of baggage involved.

This I think is actually a positive change. I love her, but we haven't been what the other needs for some time, and I need to go my own way.

I now have to figure out what I want to do with this freedom. I have a lot of friends here and I generally like the area, but I nevertheless want to leave. (The housing market here isn't helping me want to stay; the bubble is in full effect in this area.)

The other place I may go is Champaign, IL. We lived there before moving here. My company is based there, so I'd have health insurance covered. I have friends there and other friends nearby. Cost of living there is dirt cheap (even cheaper than where I am) so I could live like a king. And because my expenses would be low and my job is remote, I could pretty easily fly back here every now and then, stay in an airbnb for a week, and hang with my friends. And houses are reasonable there.

So we'll see. I still have some numbers to run and things to figure out.

Divorce is a PITA and I am sorry that you two have to go through it. In the end is it better to be happy alone/separate than miserable together.

Best of luck going forward.

We accepted an offer on our house and will be moving to Florida in a couple months. See you later snow!

We are moving to The Villages to be closer to my wife's dad who has had some recent heart issues. The world's biggest subdivision. I might learn to golf. There is a small wargaming community there, so I'll have some gamers nearby. We are some of the youngest there and will be able to usher in the next round of retirees who will likely be RPG players and gamers like us.

Now to find a house down there.

Update: I decided to stay in Western MA. Found a house, put in an offer, it was accepted. I close at the end of June. We are still friendly towards one another so I'm still in "our" house, soon to be her house. I can not wait to move.

I had a great session with my therapist on Weds. I told him I genuinely don't know what I want to work on at this point because I'm discovering that the reason I've felt like shit and it seemed like I had a voice pouring venom in my ear telling me I was worthless is because for at least eight years I've been treated like shit and had an actual voice telling me I was worthless. So I don't have any idea what's legitimately my own deal that I want to work on and what has been the product of living with someone who's been pissed at the world since at least 2014 and been taking it out on me. That actually, weirdly, feels good to learn.

the_jake_1973 wrote: We accepted an offer on our house and will be moving to Florida in a couple months. See you later snow!

We are moving to The Villages to be closer to my wife's dad who has had some recent heart issues. The world's biggest subdivision. I might learn to golf. There is a small wargaming community there, so I'll have some gamers nearby. We are some of the youngest there and will be able to usher in the next round of retirees who will likely be RPG players and gamers like us.

Now to find a house down there.

Beware, golf is addictive.

And it looks like there may be some side job opportunities there that might be available now. www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/06/28/d...chop-shop/435205001/

We need a golf thread. I started playing three years ago and love it. I suck terribly and had a really poor round last weekend, but it is definitely addictive.

Oh yeah. My wife and I loved golfing. I sucked at it. If I broke 100 I was happy. If I broke 90 (not often) I was ecstatic. I should start playing again.

I've been beat by 12-year-old kids and by an 80-year-old man. The old man had every wood available, a wedge, and a putter. He couldn't hit anything farther than 100 yards, but it was all laser straight, Bogey bogey bogey like a machine. I'd hit a drive 250 yards and end up in the tee box two holes over.

Since the official end of my very long-term relationship last summer, I have been trying to date. I spent three months dating someone with major issues last fall before ending it. I spent a month dating someone else earlier this year. No serious issues, but no strong interest on either part, so we stopped dating after the fifth date. Now I just got asked out by a woman that I have been talking to online lately. I met all of these women through online dating sites, because we're still in a pandemic so all of the other ways of meeting people are problematic.

For what it's worth, I have seen several dating profiles where the woman listed board games or game night as one of their interests. All the ones that I have contacted have not responded. One other board gamer is interested in me, but I'm not attracted to her.

ubarose wrote: is considering Doctors without Boarders.

Freudian slip?