Just saw John Carter...

ZMan wrote: BTW, Skeltor, Sarkoja was the mean bitch Thark who kept ratting them out and wanted them dead. Sola was the friendlier one that was Tars's daughter. But good summation and yeah, lots happening and very epic.

My bad, I was working off IMDB but of course when it comes to Tharks it's hard to tell which acress is which. =)

I saw it again, enjoyed it even more the second time.

I'm weeping now thinking about the hundreds of millions going to that total travesty of a film "The Hunger Games" instead of going to John Carter. Goddamn teenage girls and bored housewives!

Oh come on, it wasn't a travesty. There was even some respect for violence for fucks sake. It even had some anticipation and tension.

The young lady in it has good screen presence, unlike the guy who played John Carter. Somebody pulled a lever and he rolled out on a conveyor belt. A mutant hybrid of Prince Caspian and the Prince of Persia. But he's sooo cute! And his doggy is too!

hey! What happened when this entire thread was only paying attention to me?! I miss the attention already

Hunger Games on Monday for me, instead of JC hehe

I do sort of want to see JC just so I can tell you guys was Avatar is a better film. That would be fun (Hopefully it's true)

Are you fucking kidding me? Hunger games was an abomination of a movie. Even excusing the plot, however watered down from the book, the film itself has horrible handshake camera work, schizophrenic editing that makes Michael Bay look like Kevin Smith in terms of shot length, the most atrocious set and costume design since a never aired 60's era Star Trek clone, and pacing so bad I frequently forgot the film was about PEOPLE DYING! Sure, the lead actress is cute and can emote on command, but she is a fairly curvy chick, totally in opposition to her supposed spartan, austere upbringing. I had a hard time believing this fleshy sexpot was cowering in the rain for a heel of moldy bread. The soundtrack was worse than a Clint Eastwood score and the "action" what little there was, was so cut and blurry I couldn't tell who was getting killed, not that I cared since no one other than the District 12 kids had any lines worth mentioning. District 1 kids are bad, m'kay, 'cause they are blonde and are OUT TO WIN THIS THING, which Duh, ought to be the goal of every kid in the nation.

Anyway, any Fattie ought to be watching Battle Royale on his smart phone instead of this flick. Sure, gotta put in time for the ladies sake, but don't actually watch this film!

Mr Skeletor wrote:
" Then he uses the amulet to return to Mars and lives happily ever after since we wont get a sequel to tell us otherwise because Barney wont go and see the film."
Black Barney - the bane of good movies everywhere.

Black Barney wrote:
" Hunger Games on Monday for me"
And I thought your film credibility couldn't plummet further. How could I have been so wrong?!!

jason10mm wrote: Are you fucking kidding me? Hunger games was an abomination of a movie. Even excusing the plot, however watered down from the book, the film itself has horrible handshake camera work, schizophrenic editing that makes Michael Bay look like Kevin Smith in terms of shot length, the most atrocious set and costume design since a never aired 60's era Star Trek clone, and pacing so bad I frequently forgot the film was about PEOPLE DYING! Sure, the lead actress is cute and can emote on command, but she is a fairly curvy chick, totally in opposition to her supposed spartan, austere upbringing. I had a hard time believing this fleshy sexpot was cowering in the rain for a heel of moldy bread. The soundtrack was worse than a Clint Eastwood score and the "action" what little there was, was so cut and blurry I couldn't tell who was getting killed, not that I cared since no one other than the District 12 kids had any lines worth mentioning. District 1 kids are bad, m'kay, 'cause they are blonde and are OUT TO WIN THIS THING, which Duh, ought to be the goal of every kid in the nation.

That's all pretty nitpicky and I won't even disagree with all of it. In the end it was still more amusing than John Carter.

What's sad is that it's difficult for me to rip on JCM because it was so forgettable. I can't even remember a single one of it's generic action sequences. The only thing it had going for it is the subject matter, which they completely failed at making exciting, or compelling. It didn't even have any good flavor or style to make up for any other deficiencies. Well, it's a family Disney movie, what did I expect right? But heroic fantasy without any edge or teeth? Why bother. It's more confusing because on one hand I'm a target demographic and on the other I'm totally not. All my love for sci-fi and fantasy cannot blind me into believing it better than it really was.

So apparently Hunger Games is really hot with the chick tweenie crowd.

Umm, enjoy it hex and Barny...

why do you think I'm goin'?!

And Hex is into this stuff too? We gotta start a club or thread.

Mr Skeletor wrote: John Carter is a flop in the same way Waterworld was. Followed the exact same narrative too (the media were hyping it as a flop before it came out.)

That's business as usual and not just in the film industry. Managing the press is more important than the actual product. All the "the making of" bullshit material is usually longer than the film itself. If you don't throw the press their cookies prior to release you get savaged.

It's gotten to the point that I put zero faith in anyone that agrees with the critics because the critics are looking to be part of the story instead of providing a fair assessment of it. They have zero credibility with me.

John Lasseter could put out ninety minutes of my home movies and the critics would rave about how avant garde it is . . . until he inadvertently forgets to return a phone call and they all decide to savage him.

S.

just saw Hunger Games, it was great. 4.5 stars out of 5 although that's probably a LITTLE generous. The acting is top drawer and it's good fun.

I don't see what media coverage has to do with anything.

We know you liked hunger games. We simply saw the RT ratings.

21 Jump Street - 85%: Barney likes
The Lorax - 57%: Barney doesn't like
Hunger Games - 85%: Barney likes

Barney also expects John Carter to be worse than The Lorax.
John Carter's 51% vs the Lorax's 57%

The algorithm is solved. I think you can retire your best films of the year articles.

Black Barney wrote: Hunger Games

Oh my.

The girl playing Rue is amazing too. Like exactly what a 12-yr old girl could be like in that situation. Freakin' terrified at first and then as it goes on, has moments where she's still a little girl. I loved that character. Best moment of the movie maybe.

those tweets are brutal


hey jeff white, if you check out a few hundred of my reviews and not just three, you'll see dispersion with critics. Avatar, etc. Same with video games. I'm no fan of Ocarina of Time or Metroid Prime, I hate those games.

Trashdome: dumb tweenie Barney vs dumb tweenie racists.

Black Barney wrote: hey jeff white, if you check out a few hundred of my reviews and not just three, you'll see dispersion with critics. Avatar, etc.

You came up with ONE film, the you hit etc?
ONE film?!?
Says it all really.

We should start a thread about upcoming releases vs Barney. See how many reviews it takes before he can form an opinion on the movie.