Father's Day

Woke up at 1:30am to find my youngest had snuck into the bedroom with her pillow and blankey. She didn't crawl into bed as she has been banned since she's a "sideway sleeper".

Slept on couch, let the kid have her time with mama in the big bed.

Awoke to sounds of chaos at 7, which is usual. It was just the little one smacking me in the head with her Pillo Pet, telling me that it was time for Care Bears on Netflix.

Mama awoke shortly thereafter, as did the eldest child. Eggs, sausage, and hash browns with a side of Jamaica Me Crazy coffee. No OJ, which sucked, but it was little more than a distraction.

Cards from wife and children. Quick look outside indicates today's planned 3rd annual disc golf tournament is completely bollocksed. Pete winces.

More chaos, broken up by a game of Epic Duels with the eldest, on Halo terrain. Epic.

Youngest acting the fool, screaming, basically, chaos. Off to bed for her...

...and then assembly of the new firewood rack.

Shortly after assembly, moved rack outside, unloaded a face cord of ant and spider infested wood from the current home-made rack, destruction of the old rack, and then reloading the wood onto the new rack. Did I mention it was sprinkling mildly?

Youngest never actually went to nap. She was instead destroying her room in near silence to avoid detection on the monitor. She is truly evil.

Eldest makes bad-ass hazelnut coffee with whipped cream. Truly the nectar of the Gods. Pete smiles.

Mild threatening, cleaning of room, back to bed for the child. Finally. Total "Go The Fuck To Sleep" moment.

Back inside, cleaning up dishes and doing laundry.

Decision made: Going to drop of expense check, to Lowe's to get shelving for the game room, and then to Hobby Lobby for some dental stone to look at for a week while my Hirst molds travel in a USPS truck.

Stopped at McD's to let kids play on the slide. Epic fail, the youngest apparently is afraid of heights and tunnels. 2 runs down slide, more crying, and McD's has ended.

Hunting for Tums in car....McD is clearly going to produce profound stomach distress resulting in projectile diarrhea. Tums located.

Check delivered.

Lowes....nightmare. Youngest acting the fool AGAIN, put in cart, howling ensues. Threats of mild violence fail, beeline for the checkout cuz' shit's just getting old.

Hobby Lobby closed.

Installation of shelves while wife and youngest watch Cinderelly Cinderelly. Eldest on Webkinz.

Loading of shelves with MB Gamemaster games and other happy things. Pete smiles. Downstairs living room subtly transforming to Man Cave. Pete is pleased.

Trip to Acapulco to pick up wife's Quesadilla con Espinica y Pollo. Place is a madhouse. Ended up not paying, dipping the fuck out with free food. Awesome sauce. Even got to speak spanish to the waitstaff about how stupid the gringos are today. Epic. Pete smiles again.

Home again, home again, jiggity jig. Food delivered. Time to get youngest ready for bed. More chaos, boogers, and tears ensue. Child looking more and more like lesser demon every day. Finally, silence just under the sound of Wagner piping through the monitor. Pete smiles, warily.

Wife decides that we're watching a movie. Look it up on Rotten Tomatoes, 9% rating. Fuck that. Pete proclaims that Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind or Existenz are going to be played. Gets that look. Gives that look back. Today's my day, I am victorious. Pete smiles, evilly.

Youngest stirs. Eldest tattletales that youngest is up again. Chaos ensues. Pete goes outside for smoke and to check email. Is reminded of impending trip he is less than enthusiastic about. Pete winces. Marlboro burning, he remembers that Origins is coming up next week. Pete smiles.

Pete logs onto F:AT, reads the day's news, decides to not only chime in on Father's Day, but to do so in the third person. Pete smiles.

Josh Look wrote: You want to do Mohegan Sun, it's better than Foxwoods. Either way, you show up in CT, we might need to do some gamblin' together.

Craps is pure AT in all its noisy dice filled glory.

-Will

I'm not a dad yet, but I went to the department store and bought one of these goddamn things:

www.babybjorn.com/products/baby-carriers...ier-synergy/synergy/

Joshie, I go for the poker tho so I think Foxwoods is better, right? I've been to Foxwoods twice and have loved it (won a decent tournament there too). Will surely go back with family at some point. Bring mother-in-law, baby, wife and I get to play poker while they spa and such.

Pete, that post was so epic, I loved it.

Uba, have I not shown pics of Emily yet? Man, I can't believe I haven't yet. I don't mean to show off but she's the most beautiful thing ever.

Sorry to be the party-pooper here but I have a real thing about not celebrating father's day. There are two reasons:

1) It's patently obvious it's a made-up festival created solely to sell more cards and other assorted crap.

2) Mother's day means something special. Fathers are more involved than ever in their kids lives than they used to be but it's still Mums who do the magic stuff. Who is it who picks my eldest up from school most days? Who is it who stays at home with the baby most days? Who is it who has to make difficult decisions, look after them when they're sick, take them to the doctors, wipe up the tears, help with the homework, tidy up the clothes and pack up they toys most days? I put them to bed every night, and cook a week's worth of meals at the weekends and occasionally do the cleaning but it's still Mum who does the toughest stuff while I'm out at work. And if anyone still thinks that a day's work is harder than a day with the kids well, you can't have had kids yet.

So we don't do Father's day in my house.

MattDP wrote: And if anyone still thinks that a day's work is harder than a day with the kids well, you can't have had kids yet.

Most holiday's are bullshit coporate scams to make money.. but who cares if it brings family together and you all have fun?

On that last point though. I'd give up my easy job at work all day to spend time with my child I love, even if it's harder, in a heartbeat. There is something that a mother gains by being with the child and a father loses by being at work that nothing can make up for regardless of it's difficulty.

It's the same reason I think childbirth isn't that bad. Sure it's difficult and carrying a child for nine months can be hell but I honestly envy that special bond they share that I will forever be divorced from. If we don't recognize these things as well as the challenges inherent in them then we do mothers a great disservice.

Got the new Status Quo CD 'Quid Pro Quo' - awesome! especially when played LOUD.

Went for a walk with the offspring & wife & had lunch in a pub overlooking the sea, suddenly realised I was having a long interesting conversation about the end of the Roman Republic with eldest offspring - since he's a 17yr old boy who normally communicates in monosyllabic grunts this was a bit alarming, he seems to be turning into a reasonably intelligent, likable human being - dunno how that happened

Got home and we all played Ascending Empires while listening to Quo again & chatted with my daughter (10) about the Terry Pratchet books which she is currently demolishing at one/day.

All in all a pretty good day.

JonJacob wrote: Most holiday's are bullshit coporate scams to make money.. but who cares if it brings family together and you all have fun?

No, they're not. You're right that most have become corporate scams to make money, but that wasn't their original purpose, and even amidst all that consumerism a glimmer of those original purposes remain. Father's Day is a recent invention (1908, not given "official" status until 1972) whereas most others are hundreds, if not thousands, of years old.

JonJacob wrote: On that last point though. I'd give up my easy job at work all day to spend time with my child I love, even if it's harder, in a heartbeat.

Yeah, that's a personal one. I can't help but feel there's an element of the power of choice here: my partner might like to have a day or two a week not looking after the kids and I might enjoy a day or two more at home, but economic circumstances dictate that that's not an a workable option for us so the idea of having the choice might appeal more than the reality, I don't know. I do know several couples who've swapped and shifted hours round so that each works 3-4 days a week and has a couple of days at home so that it's shared much more equally. That's the ideal, I think and I'd love to do it. But then we get into all the gender bias stuff about women being paid less than men for the same skills or the same job and we probably ought not to go down that path, at least in this thread on this forum.

WTF Matt, it sounds like you're probably a great dad sharing with work and raising your kid(s) - why wouldnt you celebrate Father's day? Granted, my wife stays home with our kid and does a lot more parenting during a week than I do - but when I'm home and our kid's awake I'm there 100% so I wouldnt see Father's Day as less important than Mother's Day just because of that. Pretty sure there's gotta be statistics about not having either parent being tougher for any kid - so why not celebrate both?

And if you're also one of those folks who decries the commercialism of stuff like Valentines Day as "forced romanticism" - I say that it is what you make of it. If you're in a relationship where there's lots of *pressure* to get flowers, go to dinner, jewlery, or spend X dollars there's something wrong. My wife and I go back and forth each year as to how upscale we celebrate each holiday and sometimes we can do it up nice and others (esp with a kid) it's homemade dinner and cards.

Anyway, dont mean to come off as an ass - just sounded like you were shortchanging yourself as a dad. Maybe it's a British thing I'm missing.

Great post uba. In these early stages it's easy to feel like a fifth wheel as many of the baby's desires cannot be satiated by anything I have to offer. Watching the baby leave my arms while crying to be immediately soothed by a mothers loving touch can be heart breaking in just how inadequate you feel. It's nice to hear I serve some purpose eventually.

I know that I do but it's easy to forget when you see just how powerful their bond is. Working a twelve hour night shift just doesn't compare to that magic.

ubarose wrote: When most people remember their mom, they remember comfort. When most people remember their dad, they remember sharing new experiences, learning new things and succeeding. That's why Father's Day is important.

Also getting to be "the fun one" doesnt hurt either I get home from work and our 1 year old knows it's time to play! This may or may not continue to be my role in her life for the next 17+ years if I have my way ;D

JJ-

You're providing so that bond can be strengthened. You da man!

I'm a little taken aback by Matt's opinion. Personally, I think that while his experience is one thing, it can't be applied to the whole.

I've been a working-stay-at-home-dad for 10 years, since my eldest was born. I took them to the doctor's with the wife, take care of them when the wife is on holiday or at the salon, and I spend virtually every day that I'm not travelling at home with the kids.

Many of my friends are doing similar things.

I think with the advent of e-commuting and more jobs that don't require going to an office, more and more families are becoming closer and the old idiom of "dad at work, mom at home" is far more of an old-school way of thinking. Further, in the US, many moms work, and if the dad isn't a complete lout, dad's doing half the housework along with mom, so it's equal.

Let's say, just for instance, that fathers don't do even half what moms do. Still, does that somehow invalidate what fathers do to such a degree that they don't deserve a special day of recognition? People should be recognized for their good works, even if they're not as prolific or profound as others' works are.

Fathers are shit on by society, by and large. We're the wifebeaters, the cads, the cheaters....but one one day a year we're not the villainy of the earth. I'm OK with that.