LOOK WHAT SATAN SENT ME 2013!!!

I have pictures and video, but I want to give a quick shout out to Satan in case it takes me more time to figure out how to upload the stuff from my phone onto the Fortress site. It's been a little over a week.

Having pity on me due to my "competitive chess" high school past (I actually lettered in chess), Satan actually checked my BGG profile and gave me a couple of games I mentioned I wanted to pick up. One of them was Rumis, which is a Tetris-y game I wanted to pick up a while back as a spouse game. There is other stuff, but I'll save the rest. Pictures do it more justice.

Dog:

Especially if someone was shipping internationally, your package may be in limbo for a little while. Always happens during the holidays; we have a giant backlog of packages in our plant right now.

Dogmatix, my tiny elves/demons inform me that earthly posting from the Europa hellhole takes 15 working earthly days. According to Pascal, who I have chained up here, he says that is 3 weeks from 17th Dec at least.

We didn't bother with tracking information as we understand it has to be pulled to VA personally attached to a sinners foreskin. We understand this is painful and takes time. If you hassle us again we will come down and remove your ball sack late in the night so you really do have something to complain about,

Squigherder wrote: Satan I have your package! I will edit this tomorrow to include pictures when I am at work, my internet can't seem to handle it.

14 pages and 14 days ago and still: NON-COMPLIANT!!!!

And dr Murko

Is the Dutch postal service really a mess or are you still in shock with the random vandalism that was your SS package?

Michael Barnes wrote: - I'm seriously thinking about next year doing a REVENGE round, where your target will be the person who sent you stuff.

Cool idea, but what if you like what you got this year?

Malygris wrote:

Michael Barnes wrote: - I'm seriously thinking about next year doing a REVENGE round, where your target will be the person who sent you stuff.

Cool idea, but what if you like what you got this year?

Then you teach Satan a lesson for being kind.

Secret Satan wrote: Dogmatix, my tiny elves/demons inform me that earthly posting from the Europa hellhole takes 15 working earthly days. According to Pascal, who I have chained up here, he says that is 3 weeks from 17th Dec at least.

We didn't bother with tracking information as we understand it has to be pulled to VA personally attached to a sinners foreskin. We understand this is painful and takes time. If you hassle us again we will come down and remove your ball sack late in the night so you really do have something to complain about,

I surely didn't realize I had an international SS. Shipping being what it is, let me just thank you for participating--even if you sent me a box of used tissues and a moldy brownie....

(And that surely wasn't a complaint; merely an FYI. Complaints--from me, anyway--generally feature prominent and repetitive use of the myriad forms of both "motherfuck..." and "cocksuck..." See the ACTS log immediately following the die-rolls from just about any PBEM game of Here I Stand for good examples.)

Well....
It started with a letter from the Director of the NSA apologizing for the mess inside the package. Apparently, the NSA keeps tabs on packages sent by Satan.

Although these moldy-smelling and Dutch Mad magazines did not seem too bad


The sight of John's and Yoko's naked cracks was a bit too much. Almost overshadowed the tremendous shit that is the Andrew Lloyd Webber CD.


But to top it off; the real Satan came around knocking.... I present "Quotes by Mao".
And yes, the original Chinese text is included.


Almost made me appreciate this Dutch shitty game from the 70's with lots of counters


But the bag of Zombies!!! with all the cards/counters/tiles made it worthwhile.


Not shown; more old Dutch books and the cardgames Kathai and Meuterer.

Thanks Satan!

Meuterer is a good game! It's one of those games that heavily influenced Citadels. I think it might be kind of hard to find to, so that's cool.

I will give it a try; at least it was complete

It took me a while and I apologize, but it's finally time for pictures.

I got a huge box that promised card board goodness, and in some ways I find that it delivered on that promise. Sort of.

But first I got a very nice note from my (Dutch) Satan:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B74oNsGQZGIhcmYzaWxyRlNIQms/edit?usp=sharing

On top these two games. One is a very ameritrashy game about gods duking it out, but it's in French with a shitload of text so probably won't get to play that game ever. The second, small, game looks like one of those worthless card games you somehow always end up with. Pasted on theme, boring mechanisms, and no reason to ever play it more than once. Perfect SS gift, but more on that later.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B74oNsGQZGIhcmYzaWxyRlNIQms/edit?usp=sharing

And finally a game about the crusades. It looks extremely boring and German with that tonsured knight in the cover, but it has a dice tower and actually seems kind of cool. And of course it is in German which I do sort of speak and read, but would rather not when I'm trying to have fun and play board games. (No, I'm not much of an Eugene when it comes to that.)
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B74oNsGQZGIhemc0M3EzZjQzSjA/edit?usp=sharing

Since opening the gift I've reasearched a bit, however, and it seems like the small game is actually the good one. It's in English and supposedly somewhat Magic-ish. And since I've started to play Magic with my wife, that bodes well for the small and insignificant game. But of course rules are not included and a quick search on TOS hasn't revealed them. I'm not giving up yet, but I have a sinking feeling that the missing rules is actually some elaborate plot of Satan's to make me spend a lot of time finding them only to play an at best mediocre game.

But still, they do look awefully impressive those games.

Okay, how does one embed those pics?

mads b. wrote: Okay, how does one embed those pics?

It took me going to a whole new computer to figure it out as the POS at work wouldn't do it.

I did it through the Attachments and "Add File" button below the text box.

Oh no...I didn't realize it was Billy Z that was NONCOMPLIANT. Ain't that a shame? A once proud AT warrior fallen into embarassing NONCOMPLIANCE. It just breaks your heart. Oh well, unleash the hounds.

For the rest of you, you see that VT SWITCHED COMPUTERS to ensure that he could post photos. That is the level of dedication I expect from SS participants.

Mads, that Crusades game is Im Zeichen des Kruzes. It's actually pretty good, even if there are some really funky things about the rules. It's probably worth getting a translation from BGG to play. Basically, you control a group of Crusaders storming their way to the Holy Land to take a shot at Muslim-held Jerusalem. Along the way, your noble Christian crusaders misbehave and act like the band of brigands and mercenaries that they generally were so you can sack cities for gold and plunder in the name of God. Battles are done by throwing cubes into that tower and seeing what falls out. Yep, just like Wallenstein. In fact, that game was released about the same time as Wallenstein, both from Queen. The tower is exactly the same. Of course, Wallenstein went on to fame and glory. IZdK languished in obscurity. Granted, Wallenstein is a MUCH better design.

I wouldn't be surprised if it were worth a little money, $100 or so.

cdennett, you'd better be dead or in jail because the consequences for noncompliance will be dire (unless you're Billy Z, it seems). Especially since you've posted three times over two weeks after your package was delivered. Consider yourself named and shamed. Or the postal service named and shamed for giving your package to someone else, if you want to use that excuse.