What my SECRET SATAN sent me!

The present Satan gave me this year was hearing about this too late. Every post I see torments my soul. Ugh, I can't wait till next year

HA! I write for Jeux sur Plateau...see if I've got an article in there!

Holy fuck...HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY FUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I go to pick up the mail today and see a parcel waiting for me in the snow, on my porch. I open it up see a Xmas card from Satan. Then I lift open the flaps of the box and see that my SS has sent SUPER DUNGEON EXPLORE!!!!!!

Allow me to say that this, has quite possibly been the worst year of my life, for many reasons I don't wish to discuss publicly, but I can say that I am getting over a very serious ear/bone infection that has been trying to say the least and this unexpected, ( not to mention unnecessary- I mean its is SS) act of generosity has really touched me.

So to you, my Dark Lord, I say thank you. From the bottom of my heart thank you. For now, and forever more, I am yours! By the forked tongue of Mephistopheles, let it be so!


SIDE NOTE: @ JEB - nice Laguiole!

So you've had the worst year of your life even without me getting to slap you. Must have been genuinely shitty then

mads b. wrote: So you've had the worst year of your life even without me getting to slap you. Must have been genuinely shitty then

Heh, you have no idea.

My SS gift has me feeling so good that I PROMISE you a slap should we ever meet! Just not on my right side though-- that's where my ouchy is.

I would try the alternate rules for Battleball over on ToS.

I go to pick up the mail today and see a parcel waiting for me in the snow, on my porch. I open it up see a Xmas card from Satan. Then I lift open the flaps of the box and see that my SS has sent SUPER DUNGEON EXPLORE!!!!!!

Ridiculous. Someone obviously doesn't understand the true meaning of F:AT Secret Satan '11. I am so disappointed that someone would send you such an amazing and very expensive gift. I hope that they got nothing but Spellfire cards, because it's all they deserve for making everyone else look cheap, stingy, and BAD.

ENJOY YOUR ILL GOTTEN GAINS BILLYZ.

Michael Barnes wrote: I go to pick up the mail today and see a parcel waiting for me in the snow, on my porch. I open it up see a Xmas card from Satan. Then I lift open the flaps of the box and see that my SS has sent SUPER DUNGEON EXPLORE!!!!!!

Ridiculous. Someone obviously doesn't understand the true meaning of F:AT Secret Satan '11. I am so disappointed that someone would send you such an amazing and very expensive gift. I hope that they got nothing but Spellfire cards, because it's all they deserve for making everyone else look cheap, stingy, and BAD.

ENJOY YOUR ILL GOTTEN GAINS BILLYZ.

I will! I deserve it! IT'S MINE!!! I AM THE CHOSEN ONE!!!!

No joke, though- this is the happiest any surprise has made me in a very long time, so to all of you who've received, and will receive crappy, tore up, hand-me-down shit that nobody else wants I say to you: SUCK IT!!!


I am Billy Zavos, and I approve this message.

Michael Barnes wrote: I hope that they got nothing but Spellfire cards

Or Blood Wars.

S.

I hope this wasn't the result of some kind of target/victim mix-up, but just before Christmas, I recieved another package from SATAN.

Arriving in a beat up box, I eagerly tore it open to see what kind of madness awaited inside:



Satan, for his own mysterious reasons, believed that I should have in my home:

-a Slinky, which my 2.8 yr old son immediately grabbed an ran off with. Probably infused with demonic influence and similar, but at least he seems to be having fun with it. Thanks Satan!

-some German board game about monkeys that gather fruit and throw it at each other or something. I can only assume that this is the kind of stuff that passes for "fine gaming" in Hades. Maybe I'll try to get my wife's family to play this with me and see how it goes. Thanks Satan!

-Caverns of the Snow Witch, a Fighting Fantasy gamebook. I have a strange habit of collecting old gamebooks, so this is awesome! Thanks Satan!

-Cheapass paper version of Kill Doctor Lucky. Is this an attempt at subliminal messaging? Fortunately for me, I don't know anyone with both a PHD and "Lucky" as a surname, so I'm affraid it has failed. But it looks like a fun game, so thanks Satan!

-Neverwinter Nights... for Mac. Maybe I can get this to work on Windows, or at least have "fun" messing with it trying to get it to work. Thanks Satan!

-Some funky dice. Two of them are six sided and have sea animals instead of numbers, and one of them is a funky top-style four sider with some kind of Hebrew symbols on the sides. The six siders will be perfect for when I'm GM'ing an RPG session where the heroes are all underwater and I haven't made a random encounter table, and I want a quick idea for something for them to run into. And the dreidel will be perfect for those RPG sessions where one or more of the PCs are Jewish and it just happens to be the holiday season (in-game), and he wants to mess about with a dreidel or something. (these situations happen more often than you may think) Thanks Satan!

-the packaging within the box was actually Magic cards, most of them from the Planescape or Ravnica: City of Guilds sets, along with a butt-ton of forests and mountains. It looks like there may even be a common set from each of those sets, with lots of uncommons, so maybe it would be good for drafting from for quick games. Thanks Satan!

-a book on Tournament Magic or some such. This should help improve my vocabulary for talking about pre-2010 Magic! Thanks Satan!

Thanks for everything! And if I happened to have two different Satans, someone let me know and I can be Satan's little helper for one more victim.

Ooh ooh, victimize me, victimize me!!!

so far, nada.

Anybody who has NOT recieved anything, PM me. We're still in the "gentle reminder" stage.

A book of Magic tournament reports? What the...

My Secret Satan box arrived this afternoon. After sending the kids to their rooms(and calling in the bomb sniffing dogs) I opened the package. To my pleasent surprise, I got some very cool stuff.
First up was FFG's Thunder's Edge- I've heard good things about this
Next was Risk: Transformers(in shrink)- TOS says this is not a bad version, cool minis
Then out came Task Force Games Supervillians- a rpg/ board game combo game. I remember a buddy of mine had this when we were in high school. I don't think we played, but I read the rulebook- looking forward to reading thru again
Lastly I pulled out Double or Nothing- not on my radar, but something I think the kids/ in laws will dig.

A very nice haul, Satan- thank you.

Holy shit everyone! I scored the best and evilest Secret Satan haul!

When I opened the wrapping this is what greeted me:



A gun case from my Ameritrash demon lord! Haha. Satan clearly knows that I could never defend myself physically that well as all I have are some Tai Chi moves to work with. So maybe I should get a gun so I could blow some shit up if it invades my home at an early hour!!!

But alas, the gun case was only the wrapping that protected this evil haul:



Check that shit out!

That's a copy of Exxxcitations!



Everything is in French, which is hilarious because Satan already probably knew that I know that language. I grew up in Montreal, so French is the language of my childhood. Many of my fondest memories of childhood -- believing in Santa, playing street hockey and dodge ball with French kids, reading Tintin, Astérix et Obélix -- are coded in French. Now I can add some live action pr0n to that list!



You're a sick fuck, Satan! (and I thank you!)

The next gift I opened was a card game: Corruption, by Bruno Faidutti:



It looks like a vicious backstabby game!! This is the kind of thing that my group really gets into. I can't wait to try to lose some friends playing this. Thanks Satan, you bastard!

But wait! That's not it. There was also this gem: Pimp: The Backhanding. The front of the little box said "A Premium Quality Card Game". The back of the box explains:



Haha, "premium quality" indeed...for Satan!

This game looks like a blast too. Check it out (and notice the Christmas colours at the bottom!!):



Ho Ho Ho!! That's awesome! I'm going to try to get my feminist friends to play this one for sure! I can't wait.

Thanks for this great haul of evil, Satan!! This will definitely keep me from being a good boy this year.