O - Tow Jockey Five Second Review

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What would happen if you took Shakespeare's play Othello and changed Venice to a prep school in North Carolina, changed the time period to the modern day, changed warfare to basketball, and changed the names of the characters slightly so that Othello became Odin and Iago became Hugo? What you would get if this movie is any indication, is a big steaming pile of canine excrement. There are many reasons why this movie sucks. The first and foremost is trying to shoehorn in questions of race. Odin and Desi's first love scene, where they lie naked in bed together while Desi's roommate is told to put on her headphones so she doesn't actually puke due to the ultra sloppy noises of these two kissing, included dialog such as Odin saying "I pulled you because I'm that kind of nigger," and Desi saying "You said I was so fine you'd let me dress you up and play 'Big Buck got Loose in the Big House'". Oh for a muse of fire! Later after Odin has violent sex with Desi over her protests for him to 'stop", Desi wonders if her best friend is only concerned because Odin is black because, as you know, nobody gives a shit if your white boyfriend date rapes you. Then when Michael, Odin's alleged best friend and closest teammate is speaking of Odin's increasing instability he says "That nigger has lost it."  Who cares if there is not one scene or indication of Michael giving a rats ass about Odin's race up to that point and they being like brothers. If you can look past that hamfistedness, and you would have to plunge a red hot poker into your eye socket to accomplish that,  you'll be treated to some really crap acting by Martin Sheen as the stereotypical over demanding father whose love Hugo is desperately seeking. A cast of characters who have absolutely zero chemistry together. Retarded plot devices like a pawn broker having no qualms of a teenager hocking an expensive watch for a revolver. Identification? Permits? Proper paperwork? Fuck that! The kid's white. It'll be fine. And the most bizarre thing of all, people who commit suicide by shooting themselves in the chest with a handgun. Really? When does that happen? O isn't even worth the time it takes to type the title.

O - Tow Jockey Five Second Review There Will Be Games
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